


In x The x Dark

by the-hxh-files (thehxhfiles)



Series: Happily Ever Never [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: 90s AU, Consensual Underage Sex, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Paranormal, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Build, Spoopy stuff, Supernatural Elements, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:16:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehxhfiles/pseuds/the-hxh-files
Summary: Killua has been best friends with Gon since childhood, but the end of one summer will make him think there could be something more.  And why do strange things keep happening everywhere he goes?





	1. High

**Author's Note:**

> My first journey into fanfiction in over 10 years... please be kind!

**In x The x Dark**  
**Chapter 1 - High**

**Killua's POV**

 

It started in the summer of 1997. I was still only seventeen back then. The internet was still just becoming the new "big thing" in household amenities (one that my family had gotten immediately, sometimes it paid to be wealthy).

I can still remember getting baked on the back porch with my best friend on the nights we knew Auto Mito would be working late at the theater. Smoky evenings filled with wanderlust and day old pizza, reminiscing on the shit we called life. We could not have given less of a fuck about the world around us even if we had tried. I guess that's what being a teenager is all about.

I would do anything now to regain that simplicity.

"Oi, Gon."

The brunette tossed his head towards me so haphazardly to face me that I almost had to smell his greasy hair, tips stained dark green and all. That would have been a tragedy. I dare not ask him just how many days had gone by without a proper wash this time. The answer could very well kill a man twice my size.

The pungent smell of marijuana hung heavily in the air around us as he looked at me imploringly.

Ah, right, I had called for his attention.

Maybe it was the slight haze of the drug slowly seeping into my system, or the slight rosy hue of the setting sun... but when my eyes focused on his face... his slightly parted lips... I shook my head. These thoughts could not actually be plaguing my mind in regards of that... creature I called a friend.

"Earth to Captain Killua, there seems to be a hiccup in communication. The radio is on, but we seem to be receiving no signs of life."

I snorted. As if he was even one of this Earth. He chuckled at my uncouth behavior. I tried to scowl, but a small giggle also passed my lips in my current inebriated state. That was... not like me at all.

"So what's up? It's not like you to beat around the bush you know... did you hit it too hard or something?" He looked genuinely concerned and I rolled my eyes so hard they may as well have broken free from their sockets and rolled away. I suppressed another uncharacteristic laugh at that bit of imagery, trying to train my best "as if" look on him. He seemed unaffected by my sass.

"No, you half-wit," I bit out as his grin widened, "I was just thinking, what the fuck are we even doing with our lives...? In two weeks we're going to be seniors in high school... and then what? The free ride is over. Our asses get shipped out into the world where we're expected to grow up, scatter, and then stand by as society grips us in its scaly claws until we live out the rest of our days in unbridled misery!" I demonstrated by squeezing my own hands around my neck dramatically until I toppled myself over on the steps.

The amusement from my words never once left his face as I spoke, and I was once again hit with the unnerving realization that my sweaty, greasy, flamboyant best friend was possibly... attractive? Maybe I had been hitting the joint too hard. I rolled the offending paper lightly between my fingers from my position on the ground, trying desperately to make sense of my own muddled mind.

Gon continued to stare down at me, and I realized his sunglasses had slipped down his freckled nose in his inclined state, teetering dangerously towards the tip. His mouth was drawn into a sincere smile, the light of the sunset blanketing his silhouette like a pink halo. I puffed out a breath quietly as I drew myself up on my elbows, finally finding the strength to pull myself back into a sitting position. I slowly leaned even farther forward to push his glasses back up his nose where they belonged, following my tender action with a swift flick to the forehead.  


He blinked in surprise and confusion before laughing again, heartily, as he pulled away from my reach. Probably as not to be assaulted again.

"You're cute," Gon giggled as color began to dust my cheeks and I grew indignant at the accusation. He continued, "I don't know about the rest of the shitty world out there, but as long as we're friends, I'm never leaving you, Kiddo. What would I be without Killua by my side, hm?"

"Just crazy," I muttered, still sniffling slightly at the thought of being called cute and a kid within the last few minutes. His robust laughter once again filled the air, and my too close for comfort eardrums, as a playful slap was delivered to my back. It sent me forward just an inch or so.

"I'm serious though, Gon, this shit is really fucking me up, I'm not ready for--"

"Who is?"

I glared at him for interrupting my speech, brought on by weed or not, but remained quiet. I sucked leisurely on my joint one last time before exhaling and deeming the little rolled herbs done for the evening. I sat up, dusting the seat of my pants to try and remove any stray dirt that may have accumulated. I crossed my arms slightly and leaned up against the post holding the roof together on the covered back porch. The sun had almost completely set by now and I saw the twinkling of stars beginning to appear in the darkening sky.

I felt very boyish at the moment, small and helpless underneath the extravagance that only the night sky could provide. I didn't have a plan. Summer would end and school would begin. My parents were bound to put an end to my fooling around soon, I was intended to go to college afterall. Aunt Mito was barely getting herself and Gon by on her measly pay, and the money I received as my stupid rich boy allowance could barely provide Gon and I with proper weed and cigarettes. Would Gon even go to college? Could he afford it? Where would I be stuck then? My internal grimace must have reached my face because Gon rose to stand beside me, concern written in his features.

"Let's go, I'm starving," I announced trying to change the mood that had settled around us. I scratched the back of my undercut as I waited for him to answer me. Some fast food would do our current high good.

The jingling of car keys brought me back to, signifying his answer as he nudged me forward. We approached the red jeep sitting quietly in front of the house. A gift from Aunt Mito when he turned sixteen. In celebration of the warm weather we had already removed the top a few weeks back, so I was almost giddy to drape myself along the entire expanse of the backseat to sky-gaze as Gon carted our high asses off to get some grub.

I let out a contented sigh as the hum of the motor lulled me into a semi-conscious state as I stared out into nothingness. Life felt pretty damn good outside of the tiny existential crisis I had just had. I had it pretty easy, right now at least. I had Gon, and not anything huge to worry about at all. Maybe one day I'd even get my shit together and be worth something.

"Hey, Socrates, is Taco Bell okay?"

Hell yeah Taco Bell was okay. Taco Bell was always okay.

* * *

After stuffing ourselves full of greasy, delicious poison, I mean, Taco Bell, Gon and I decided to call it a night. We were feeling sober and lazy and the night was calling for gratuitous amounts of The Crocodile Hunter reruns as we slumped on his ratty old couch in the basement.

It was about 8:37 at night when the red jeep turned onto Gon’s street and we puttered slowly up to his driveway. I was about to make a snide comment on Gon’s elderly driving when something caught the corner of my eye coming from the second story window of Aunt Mito’s house. Firstly, the light was on in her room, yet I knew she wasn't home yet, and wouldn't be until midnight tonight. Secondly, I know that light wasn't turned on when we left. There was no reason it would have been. Thirdly, that wasn't anyone I recognized staring down at me from that window.

As the jeep parked in the driveway I whipped my head at Gon.

"Did you see that?!"

"See what, Killua?"

"Look, up at Aunt Mito’s room! Someone's in there!"

Gon turned his head quickly towards the second story window alongside me, but I was horrified to find the curtain drawn and the lights out. What the hell had I just seen? And was there someone in Gon’s house?

My feet were slapping the gravel of the driveway so quickly I almost lost control and the car door slammed behind me, Gon’s footsteps fast approaching as well. My hand shook slightly as I fished my spare key from my back pocket, and time seemed to stand still as I inserted the key into the handle, bracing myself for what was to come.


	2. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is seeing really believing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast update! (Don't expect this, it's not going to be the norm haha)
> 
> There will be some spoopy stuff in this chapter, yes!

**In x The x Dark**   
**Chapter 2 - Shadows**

As much as I wanted to thrust the door open with the entirety of my strength, I held back. It creaked open ominously in the dark, empty house. I could feel Gon breathing on my neck as we both tried to squeeze into the door frame as quietly as possible.

“Are you sure you saw something?” Gon whispered. He didn’t seem to be as nervous as I was.

“I…” I tried to respond but my voice caught in my throat. Did I actually see something? Did I imagine it? I swore I saw SOMEONE (or was it SOMETHING?) in that window. There’s no way I could make that all up, right?

We tiptoed up the stairs, avoiding all of the steps with the loudest creaks. I could still feel Gon close enough to me that every quiet breath hit me like tiny needles. My skin prickled all over, and I really couldn’t tell at this point if it was from the apprehension of the unknown that awaited us upstairs, or the proximity to Gon. What was up with me tonight? I don’t ever remember feeling so odd around someone I’ve spent most of my childhood with.

My thoughts were interrupted by the two of us clearing the landing of the stairs. I looked left and right down the expanse of the hallway. So far so good. Gon seemed slightly giddy beside me as he slowly began pushing his way towards Aunt Mito’s room. I trailed behind silently. Leave it up to Gon to be excited about a possible intruder in his home.

“Hey!” I called as quietly as possible. Gon pivoted to face me. “Slow down,” I rasped, “what if someone is really in there? What are we going to do?” Gon grinned. That motherfucker just grinned at me!

“If there is someone really here…” He seemed to actually be deep in thought.

“For fuck’s sake, Gon!”

“We run!” he laughed as he began to push his way into the room. I had a terrible feeling about this.

Aunt Mito’s room seemed cold, but other than that nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. We peeked under the bed and checked the closet, all empty spaces, weathered with dust. I didn’t want to believe my mind was playing tricks on me, but it was obvious no one was here. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted as I surveyed the room one last time.

Just as I was about to turn and exit the room a scream ripped from out of my chest and exited my throat as a dense weight hit me square in the back.

“HA!” Gon screeched with glee as he climbed further up my back, trying to wrap his legs around my waist. I could feel his fingers, hot like fire grip at my chest as he attempted to keep his balance as I flailed.

“Asshole!” I shouted, as I struggled to dislodge him from my back, “I hate you so much right now!”

“You love me!” Gon giggled.

“You wish! Get your greasy filth body off of me!”

I launched Gon as gracefully as I could onto Aunt Mito’s bed and he bounced twice as he howled with laughter. I had had enough of these shenanigans. All I wanted was a peaceful night with my best buddy, my PAL, but no. I had to see this fucking shadow man in the window. Gon had to scare me. My body was still rushing with adrenaline from all of the things I had just experienced and it left me feeling moody.

“Aw, Killua, don’t look so mad,” Gon pouted from behind me.

It wasn’t even that I was mad. Something just still didn’t feel right. The room felt cold, especially for the 80 degree weather we were having. Gon didn’t seem to notice the drop in temperature, or at least if he did he didn’t comment. It all felt like something I had experienced before. But when, and why? My mind raced with blurry situations that could possibly make me feel the same way. I couldn’t shake the deja vu even when my mind ran blank.

“Let’s just go back downstairs,” I murmured, mostly to myself, and I could see Gon’s face drop out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to face him properly when once again my blood ran cold. In the mirror hanging above Aunt Mito’s bed, two red eyes stared right back at me, then quickly disappeared.

***

We were nestled comfortably on the old couch in the basement, and I could feel the vibrations from Gon’s laughter, even on the opposite end. I hadn’t told him what I had seen in the mirror. I wasn’t sure he would believe me. I didn’t know if I could even believe myself. I felt as if I’d been on autopilot since the entire experience happened 20 minutes ago. Gon didn’t really question my silence because he probably still thought I was upset with him. That made me feel a bit guilty.

“Hey, Gon,” I started quietly. His eyes immediately focused on me. If there was one word that could always accurately describe Gon Freecs it would be intense. His eyes looked like fire dancing in the light of the television, and I felt like nothing could have possibly distracted him enough to tear his gaze from mine. I shifted uncomfortably. “Do you think we checked all of the house well enough?” I whispered.  
Gon didn’t say anything for a moment. I felt his eyes roam all over my face, determined, searching for something that wasn’t written in my features. I forced myself to look relaxed, not panicked as I so clearly felt. I didn’t want to seem paranoid, or make Gon think something was seriously wrong.

“Killua… the house is empty. We looked all over. I think maybe you are feeling tired, or maybe you ate too much earlier! I think Killua should worry less about shadows and worry more about something fun!” Gon’s eyes continued to burn with such an intensity that I had to avert my gaze, feeling an unfamiliar heat rising to my cheeks. Why was I feeling embarrassed? Was that even what I was feeling? Maybe I really was tired. Maybe I had a stomachache that I just couldn’t feel? Maybe Gon was right, as he usually was. I worry too much, I relax so little.

“Killua?”

“Mm.”

“Killua? I’m going to get you a blanket I think you should lay down.”

I silently agreed with him as I made myself more comfortable on the couch. I felt him toss a blanket on me and I closed my eyes. The room plunged into darkness as I heard Gon shut off the television and make himself comfortable on the floor next to me. Moments later I drifted off to sleep.

***

I woke up in my bedroom, completely blanketed by darkness, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I thought I heard a voice speaking to me as my eyes adjusted to the room. I tried to turn my head and discovered I couldn't.

“What the hell?” I mouthed, suddenly realizing I was unable to speak.

As a blind panic began rising throughout my entire body I spotted someone familiar at the side of my bed, kneeling as if she were praying. My family wasn’t religious so I was very confused. But that was definitely my little sister. Her voice was garbled and impossible to comprehend. What was she saying? What was she doing? I attempted again to use my voice, to nothing.

“Alluka!!!” I screamed inside of my head as loudly as I could, hoping that somehow, someway she could hear me. She continued to bow her head as if nothing was wrong, her muffled voice growing louder, yet still indecipherable. Every part of me felt like it was on fire as my mind was screaming to move! Get up! Run! Get away from her! My body refused to listen to my brain as I grew more and more petrified. Why couldn’t I move?!

Just as I was about to give myself a heart attack I noticed movement beside me. Alluka was slowly lifting her head to face me, chanting as she went. I couldn’t seem to look away as her face slowly met mine. Her eyes were closed but something seemed wrong. She almost looked featureless. I watched as her eyes slowly began to open as I let out a soundless scream, horrified at what greeted me. Big black empty holes filled her face, and her grin was just as devoid of life, wide and frightening.

“I love Killua,” she growled in an inhuman tone.

***

“AGHH!!!!”

“KILLUA!”

I whipped my head left and right, light blinding me momentarily as I felt a pair of strong, warm hands grip my shoulders tightly. Shock kept me from uttering another sound as those secure arms wrapped around me, leaving me a trembling mess against him. I tried to catch my breath but all that came out was a strangled sounding sob. I didn’t even try to fight the hug that enveloped me, simply giving in and letting him comfort me.

I felt my entire body flush from my chest all the way to the tips of my ears. I wouldn't be surprised if even my scalp was tinged pink. My limbs hung uselessly at my sides as the tears began to flow from my eyes straight onto Gon’s white t-shirt. I was so embarrassed but I couldn't find it in me to care. Was that a dream I had had just now? It all felt so real and my body still seemed to be adjusting to being completely awake.

I could vaguely hear Gon cooing some nonsense into my ear, trying his best to quell my tears as well as my fear.

I finally found it in me to forcefully wrap my arms around him as the sobs intensified. I pulled at his shirt and rubbed my face into his shoulder, desperately trying to relieve my terror. Gon seemed almost taken aback at first but then gripped me tighter, falling silent. We sat there for what felt like hours which in reality was only minutes, until my gasps turned to tiny hiccups and my breathing slowed to a normal pace.

When I finally felt well enough to pull away I kept my gaze low, looking anywhere but into his face. I was mortified. I could tell Gon was trying his damnedest to get a good look at my face. He wanted to make eye contact, that was just his way. I refused him.

“What time is it?” I whispered, the hoarseness of my voice almost startling.

“Ah, almost 11:30,” I heard Gon respond in cool even tones. His voice sounded handsome, even late at night. “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” I answered quickly, trying my best to sound normal and in control.

More silence stretched between us. I could almost hear the gears turning in Gon’s head. He was desperate for conversation but was trying to respect my boundaries. I sighed.

“Are we still on for that camping trip on Friday?” I asked trying to break the tension in the room. Gon’s face lit up immediately like I had just told him he won the lottery. I finally looked up to observe him more closely. The fluorescent basement lights washed out his beautiful brown skin, his freckles barely visible. His hair was tousled from sleep, but even though I knew it was probably unwashed it looked touchable. Gon’s grin was lopsided, his teeth pleasantly crooked yet still charming.

“Of course, Killua! I wouldn't miss that for the world! It's going to be so much fun we're going to get so wasted!”

I smiled despite my inner turmoil. Gon always had his priorities straight.

Before I could add my own suggestions for questionable and illicit camping activities we heard Aunt Mito entering the house, her heavy footsteps echoing above our heads.

“Boys! Are you home?” she called.

“We're here, Aunt Mito!” Gon replied.

“Go the fuck to bed!”

We giggled.

“And stop smoking on the porch!”

We laughed well into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was somewhat scary! Also emotion heavy, poor Killua.
> 
> Next chapter will hopefully be much more light-hearted!!!!
> 
> I hope you're all having a lovely morning, afternoon or evening!


	3. Camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys begin their exciting weekend excursion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I'm not 100% in love with this chapter, but I've reread it more times than I can take anymore!
> 
> But I did listen to Semi Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind basically on repeat all week while I wrote, so you should totally check that out.

**In x The x Dark**   
**Chapter 3 - Camping**

Friday arrived much more quickly than either Gon or I had anticipated. With September fast approaching the two of us were desperate to hold onto summer as long as humanly possible. This camping trip was our last weekend to party carefree with our senior year looming menacingly in the near future.

With the vigor of one thousand suns Gon and I were packing up the Jeep with our camping supplies, all of the spooky memories of the past week long forgotten. I was just happy to be rid of waking up covered with a cold sweat, well, at least not for that reason.

The sun had just barely risen but we knew we had a 3 hour trip ahead of us. There was nothing I loved more than spending a weekend camping, even if I was as Gon described, “An inside kind of guy.” Gon was very much an outside kind of guy. I swear he could just leave civilization and be perfectly happy for the rest of his life. It was almost as if he was only living when rolling around in nature, covered in dirt and leaves, face smudged with mud. Or waist deep in mosquito infested swamps waving around his handful of worms, ready to fish for hours.

Satisfied that we had all of our equipment ready, and after Aunt Mito had shoved our arms full of enough food to last us for weeks, we were ready to go. Aunt Mito kissed both of our cheeks and reminded us not to be idiots before we piled into the Jeep. We assured her we would NEVER, and two eye rolls later Gon turned the key into the ignition and we were on our way.

Arguing over what cassettes to listen to as the morning breeze whipped through our hair helped me forget about anything and everything in life that was bothering me. I could still faintly smell Gon next to me. He always smelled like menthol cigarettes and cheap beer, no matter what time of the day it was. It was comforting and felt like home. Gon was home. Not that big stuffy mansion I was raised in, full of pristine floors and expensive dinnerware. All of the amenities in the world couldn't replace the beautiful bronzed boy next to me, wind whipping through his messy hair, green flannel overlapping his punk t-shirt and ripped jeans. I wiped my mouth, was I drooling?!

Gon handed me a book of matches as he stuffed a cigarette into his mouth, also handing me a pack.

“Hey, light me,” I could barely hear him say through his teeth. I smiled to myself as I struck the match, lighting his cigarette then swiftly doing the same for mine. This weekend was going to be perfect.

***

**Gon’s POV**

There Killua goes again, brooding. I don’t know how he can manage to keep his face so scrunched up all of the time and still manage to look like a kid. As cute as it is when his nose wrinkles up just so, I’m really hoping this trip helps get his mind off of whatever has been going on. I don’t think Killua went home even once this whole week, which isn’t necessarily unusual, but it still has me a bit worried. On-Edge Killua is much less fun than Party-Killua. Party-Killua is my personal favorite. Which is one of the main reasons I packed an entire cooler full of Aftershock liqueur and Bud Ice. That’s just our rules. Killua supplies the drugs, I supply the booze, it’s always worked out.

I rested my right hand lightly on the bottom of the steering wheel, left arm hanging free with cigarette ashes blowing in the wind. I hummed quietly along to the radio, keeping my real attention on Killua. I’m not sure he realized that I noticed every single look he stole of me when I pretended to be oblivious. I think the only oblivious one on what was going on in Killua’s head was Killua himself. I wish he would just be honest about it, but I guess I wasn’t being so honest myself. I was waiting for Killua to make a move too. We were stuck at a stalemate. I was hoping this weekend could change things, for the better. I couldn’t stand going through another school year of longing glances and lowkey flirting, even if Killua was dense as they come. Smart kid, but kinda flighty in the feelings department.

No, this weekend would be different. And I had made it my own personal mission to make it so.

Killua’s hair flipped up with each gust of the early morning breeze, bleach-damaged and still gorgeous. What I wouldn’t give to run my hands through those snowy locks. I was jealous of the cigarette he kept touching tenderly to his perfect lips, even chapped and chewed on as they were. The smoke filling his lungs I wish I had been shotgunning from my own mouth into his.

Focus Gon. Save it for the trip. Focus.

I tightened my grip on the wheel and cleared my throat.

“So what do you think the first thing we should do when we get there, Killua?” I asked, desperate to clear my head of filthy thoughts. He shrugged.

“I don't know, man, like maybe we could just set up camp and walk some trails? I know you brought fishing stuff, too. Bet you can’t wait to get you hands on some disgusting bait and go to town on that one.” He pitched the remaining butt of the menthol out the window then leaned back with his arms behind his head like a pillow. Once he was comfortable his eyes closed.

“Don’t you go to sleep,” I warned, “we still have like an hour’s left of driving.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Don’t say that to me, punk, I’ll make you drive!”

“As if,” he yawned, and I already knew I had lost the battle. Within minutes he’d be out and I would be bored. Let him wake up in his own drool later. See if I care!

_“When I’m with you I feel like I could die and that would be alright, alright…”_

I smiled. Of course it was true.

***

Once we had reached the campgrounds and I had drug Killua’s comatose body from the jeep, we had wasted no time in setting up camp, experts at our trade over years and years of tent building. I could breathe the crisp mountain air for hours and revel in how much peace it brought me inside. This was my environment. I could live here forever away from the hustle and bustle of the suburbs. Even though Aunt Mito and I lived in what would be considered the country, nothing beat actually spending time up in the mountains. It took my breath away. Like a certain someone…

I let my gaze fall on Killua who was cursing loudly after accidentally hitting his thumb while securing a peg on the tent.

Okay, so maybe he couldn’t ALWAYS be charming but we’re only human.

“Alright!” I announced loudly, grabbing Killua’s attention and gathering the tackle box and rods. I think he may have made a face of distaste, but who cares this was my vacation too! And I was born to fish!

We trekked through the dirt pathway all the way down to the lake. Killua drug his feet behind me, chain smoking and being generally obnoxious. Sometimes I forgot Killua was a rich spoiled little fuck until he put his moody face on and threw silent tantrums when he didn’t get his way. I hated how that also turned me on. Damn.

Killua busied himself laying out an old blanket and pulling out ziplocked bags full of snacks as I got to work baiting the rods. It was my job, and I didn’t mind it. Killua acted like he was physically dying any time he came in contact with worms. It was funny like, the first time but grew old super quick, and I’ve learned some battles just aren’t worth fighting with rich kids.

“Killua, you really need to put out that cigarette, you’re going to scare away all the nature!”

I heard him huff loudly as he snubbed it out in the dirt, quickly switching his attention to a bag of snack cakes and stuffing them in his face like he had a personal grudge against them. I gave a slightly pained smile and handed him his fishing rod which he accepted without a word.  
“You ready to lose at fishing?”

His face finally perked up at the thought of competition.

Hook, line, and sucker.

***

After I beat Killua’s ass at fishing he was even MORE MOODY if possible so I thought maybe walking the trails would burn off some of his bad attitude. Even though he seemed to genuinely be having fun while he fished, he kept looking over his shoulder every so often and nervously shoving snack cakes into his mouth. I counted the wrappers, he had 16. I don’t think that boy has insides, it was just a black hole.

“Gon, do you feel like… I don't know, like we’re being watched?”

The question came so suddenly I almost completely missed what he had said. While I was generally pretty in tune with the natural world around me, I didn’t feel like anything was particularly wrong. Maybe a few less birds were chirping than normal, nothing major, so I shrugged. He seemed to accept my response without any questions so neither one of us mentioned it again.

I could hear him anxiously chewing on some bubble gum every few seconds popping a bigger and bigger bubble. I swear he couldn’t go 5 minutes without shoving something in his mouth. I could think of something to shove in his mouth. GON! I could feel the tips of my ears growing warm at the intrusive thought. What the hell, why can’t I be normal?! No cold showers in the woods... Gon damnit… God damnit!

“Gon, are you alright, you look really hot.”

“I... I what?”

“You look really red,” he said with a weird look on his face.

“Maybe it’s the heat,” I responded easily. It was blistering hot for this time of the day. And I was wearing flannel. Fashion purposes.

Killua popped a giant bubble in my face but otherwise remained silent.

We got to a point in the trail where there was a small set of benches and I beckoned Killua to sit down, he was looking overheated himself even though he miraculously hadn’t mentioned it, his hair was stuck slightly to his forehead and I was beginning to worry he might get sunburnt. My poor, pale pal.

“Ugh, thank God,” I heard him mumble. There’s the dramatics.

Killua passed me some water out of his bag of goodies and I gladly accepted. Next I saw him pull out a bottle filled with what looked like kool-aid, rip it open, and drank it himself.

“You’re going to die eventually from the amount of sugar you consume, you know.”

He made a sound as if he was almost listening to me but clearly didn’t give a fuck.

“Whatever, man, it’s your funeral.”

“Hey, speaking of my funeral, Gon, when I die don’t let my parents do that weird thing where they bury my bones in an expensive box.”

“You mean a casket,” I raised my eyebrows skeptically, “and what makes you think you’re going to die before your parents anyway?!”

He gestured at himself in a way I’m sure he expected me to understand what he meant but I did not.

“Anyway, yeah, I want that thing where they harvest all of my organs, put me in an oven and keep me in a vase. Gon, you would keep my death vase, right? Because I really don’t want my family to have my death vase.”

“Killua, first of all it’s called an URN! Not a ‘Death Vase’!” I waved my hands around wildly trying to make him understand just how ridiculous he sounded right now. “Besides, I don’t want Killua to die yet.”

“Man, not like tomorrow, but eventually. Just promise me my death vase will look cool, okay?”

I nodded and rolled my eyes, I was done with this conversation. Killua could be so weird sometimes.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Like, when you die, what do you want? Have you thought about it?” He looked at me so seriously, like he really had thought about this a lot. “What do you think happens when we die?” I felt the atmosphere shift around us. I didn’t feel like Killua was joking anymore, he looked deadly serious. I took a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it before,” I answered honestly. I hadn’t. I was more worried about what was happening in the moment, not about tomorrow, or dying.

“But, I do know, maybe I would like to die before Killua, so I don’t ever have to spend a day without him in my life.” I meant every word.

I watched Killua fluff up like a cat who just got spooked and his cheeks flushed even redder than the heat could ever produce.

“You’re so embarrassing!” he spat before moodily going back to drinking his sugar water.

I laughed easily. At least we didn’t have to talk about death anymore.

A little green snake slithered onto our path and Killua brightened. We shared a smile, conversation forgotten, and both cheered for the little snake, just making his way in the vast, wide world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my buddy who desperately wanted me to include "bro snek". You go little buddy!  
> Next chapter is my favorite I've written by far! Stay tuned!
> 
> I hope you're all having a wonderful morning, afternoon or evening!


	4. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys decide to party in the woods, which leads to Gon's dreams come true. Killua's night time encounter is more of a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my FAVORITE chapter I've written so far. I was worried about Gon's POV but he was so much fun!  
> I sincerely hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 4 - Heat**

 

Once I got the fire going and felt confident it wasn’t going to burn out I felt like I could finally relax.  Killua was sitting on a log right across from me, staring into the fire intensely, his hands folded neatly under his chin.  His eyes smoldered with every skip of the flames.  His tie dyed shirt all faded to dark colors in the night, warmed only by the light of the fire.

 

I wasn’t about to let him get all quiet now, the party was just getting started.

 

I rummaged around in the coolers and naturally produced the Aftershock and grabbed a handful of beers for myself.  Killua hated beer, but I preferred it for sure.  I don't care if he said it tasted like piss water.  What does he know about drinking piss?  In fact, I don't even want to know.

 

“Yo, you know if you stare any harder you might go blind,” I joked, tossing him the liqueur as he gave me a moody scowl. 

 

“I wasn’t staring,” he protested, “I was just thinking, lay off.”

 

“Sure, sure, well you best stop thinking and start drinking.  I ain’t about to get drunk in the woods by myself.”

 

I debated sitting opposite from him but changed my mind.  I made myself comfortable on the log right next to him.  It was a tight squeeze but we could manage.

 

I didn’t even have to look at him to know he was looking at me scandalized by the proximity.  

 

“Really?!  There’s a whole circle of places to sit around this fire and you have to sit on top of me?” he screeched trying to sidle away from me but to no avail.  I laughed easily.

 

“You afraid I got the cooties?  Besides, I like sitting next to Killua.” I gave him my most winning smile and he shut up immediately.  I could see his face darken, even under the blanket of night.  He quickly looked away and fumbled in his jeans pocket, trying to seem at ease.

 

He cleared his throat and then quickly unscrewed the cap off of his drink.  I took this as my cue to pop open my beer and on a silent count of three we both took a giant gulp.

 

***

 

As an hour or two came to pass, Killua was 7 shots down and drunk, close to messed up and I had crushed about 6 beers.  We were trying our best to pace ourselves and drag out the night as long as possible.  My watch told me it was almost midnight, and we had spent most of our time bullshitting about school starting next week.

 

After a long day of fishing and walking through the trails though, my eyes started to get a bit heavy and I could feel myself fading.  Killua had gone pretty silent himself in the last few minutes.  I don’t know why I was feeling so brave (well sure I do, it was the beer) but I decided to lightly lay my head to rest on Killua’s shoulder.  I felt him stiffen suddenly under my weight, then relax.  I could hear his breathing so close to me and I realized there wasn’t anywhere else in the world I would rather be.

 

“Is this alright?” I whispered, afraid any sudden movement would scare him away.

 

I felt his body move slightly and I looked up at him to see he was nodding, and our eyes met… sort of.  He looked a little unfocused.

 

“S’alright,” he whispered back, barely audible.

 

He took another swig from the bottle and I decided he had probably had enough.  8 shots in tiny Killua could spell trouble soon if I didn’t take it away.  I gently took the bottle from him and set it aside, he didn’t even put up a fight.

 

I sat up a bit and made him face me and I noticed his features droop immediately from the loss of contact.  This was good, things were going in my favor.  He wasn’t creeped out by how close we were sitting anymore, or even that I was touching his shoulders.  In fact, he kind of had a goofy smile on his flushed face.  Oh Killua, you beautiful weirdo.  

 

I wasn’t even close to drunk but I decided to stop anyway since I had taken Killua’s booze away.  It didn't seem fair to continue without him.

 

“Hey, you alright there?  Yeah?” I asked snapping my fingers a few times to get his attention.  He kind of lazily looked at my fingers, the smile never leaving his face.  I felt like if I let go of his shoulders he was just going to faceplant right into the fire.  That would be bad.

 

“M’okay,” he mumbled and sloppily tried to push my hands away.

 

“Yeah, okay,” I laughed and helped him stand up.  “I’m gonna put the fire out though.  We can grab the lanterns and hang out some more in the lawn chairs until you sober up a bit.”

 

He laughed a little more loudly than I expected when he stumbled a bit as I drug him to the set of lawn chairs we had a bit further away.  I made sure he was sitting properly before I decided to put out the fire.  The last thing I needed was for him to fall into it and die.

 

I bent down as I poured dirt into the fire and I heard a wolf whistle from behind me.  Are you fucking kidding?  This was going to be easier than I thought.

 

“See something you like?” I joked, trying not to burst out laughing.  Maybe I was more tipsy than I thought.

 

“Mmmm yes!” I heard Killua giggle, then quiet himself.

 

I made my way back over to him, switching on our lanterns and I grabbed a few more beers.  Fuck being fair.  I was going to let Killua know how I felt, and tonight.  Somehow, someway.  Liquid luck give me strength.

 

I pushed my chair closer to his, so our knees were almost touching and I continued to chug down my beer.  Killua was looking at me curiously, still struggling to focus, but I could tell he was staring at my neck as I drank.  I tipped my head back a bit, pretending I was having a bit of difficulty drinking the last few sips, and I heard him gasp quietly.  This was fun.

 

“Hey, you wanna play a game?” I asked, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.  His face lit up a bit in excitement.  

 

“Yeah! I uh, yes I do!” he said too loudly.  His face flushed a bit more.  I smirked.

 

“Okay, here’s the rules.  I’m going to stare at you as long as possible and the first one to laugh loses!”

 

“You’re on!” he shouted, clumsily leaning forward in his chair a bit until our knees bumped.

 

I tossed my empty beer to the ground beside me and leaned forward as well, schooling my face into a neutral position.  Killua tried to do the same but he was already blushing furiously and trying to keep his balance.  I felt him place his hands on my knees in an attempt to steady himself, and I almost lost my composure.  Stay cool, Gon, I don’t think he even realizes what he just did.

 

Seconds felt like hours as we just sat there staring into each other’s eyes.  Killua had such an absolutely determined look on his face that I almost lost my concentration.  Killua began to tip slightly forward, his hands tightening on the fabric around my knees and I stayed as still as I possibly could.  This was it.  Time to make my move.

 

As swiftly and as delicately as I could I reached up to cup Killua’s face in my hands.  I saw the startled look in his eyes for merely a moment before I closed the gap between us, my lips suddenly on his.  My hands trembled slightly and for a moment nothing happened.  Killua seemed frozen, and I worried I had assessed the situation completely wrong.  But my doubts were thrown into the wind when he finally responded, pushing against me a bit more forcefully than I had anticipated.  I felt his hands reach up to my waist and grab blindly and the reality of the situation finally hit me.

 

I was kissing Killua Zoldyck.  ME.  Gon Freecs was kissing Killua Zoldyck, and he was kissing back.

 

In a tangle of limbs and drunken fervor Killua pushed back on me until we both had tumbled to the ground.  I fell on my back and Killua was on top of me.  I looked up at him and he was looking down at me, his face so red I was afraid he might explode, and we both took a deep breath before he slammed his lips back into mine.

 

It was rough, and messy and wet, and everything I had ever dreamed kissing him would be.  I licked his lips gently and he urgently opened his mouth letting my tongue inside.  I ran my tongue along the backs of his teeth, trying to taste every single corner of his mouth.  His tongue tasted like cinnamon and alcohol, and a little bit like the marshmallows we had been roasting.  Everything about his kiss was sweet, just as I imagined Killua would taste.

 

I was startled when I heard him elicit a moan, low enough that I almost couldn’t hear it but loud enough to make my whole body shiver.  I wanted to hear that sound on repeat for the rest of my life.  I bravely placed my hands over the small of his back, pressing down a bit harder than I needed to as I worked my way lower.  He didn’t seem to object to the roughness or the direction in which my hands were headed.  In fact he moaned even louder.

 

“Fuck, Killua,” I whispered in between breaths and his tongue on mine.

 

“Say it again!” he gasped quietly.

 

“Say...what?”

 

“My name, my name you asshole, say it again!”

 

“Oh!” I uttered dumbly as I finally caught on.  My hands had finally reached their destination as I cupped his ass firmly with both hands.  He made a little strangled noise in the back of his throat as he tried to maintain control in his inebriated state.  Oh, God, I loved the sounds he makes.

 

“Killua is incredible,” I said evenly although my breath left my body in puffs.

 

“You, you idiot!” he said as he bopped me on the nose, then followed it with a tiny kiss right on the tip.  “Err… uh… I’m sorry! I..!  This is new to me… keep… keep going.”

 

I smiled.  Killua was so cute when he was flustered.  I bet he would look even cuter beneath me I thought mischievously as I flipped our positions in almost an instant.  Now Killua was on his back, looking up at me.  His blue eyes were as wide as saucers, suddenly he seemed more sober than he was moments ago.

 

“No fair!” he shouted as soon as he realized what I had done, he struggled to flip me back over but I was bigger than him.  I smirked in victory.

 

I bent down and started to move my tongue along his jaw and I felt him shiver underneath me, suddenly forgetting that he wanted to flip me.  His arms quickly made their way around my waist and I could feel his fingers brushing all over my back.  He lifted his chin to give me better access to his neck and I took the invitation very seriously.  I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling slightly, as I felt his breathing speed up below me, and I bit down lightly on his collarbone.

 

“AGh!” 

 

“Did I hurt you?!” I began to panic.

 

“N..No, keep going,” he gasped.

 

I nodded and continued to bite lightly at his neck, running my tongue all over the bites as an apology all the while he writhed beneath me.  Who knew Killua was so sensitive?  I slowly worked my way up to his ear and the most satisfying moan I had ever heard in my life spilled from his lips.  I almost pulled his hair so hard it would have hurt I was so surprised.

 

“Fuck, you like that, Killua?” I whispered right into his ear and he shivered immediately, not needing words to respond.

 

“God… You’re so.. Fucking hot!” I growled in an attempt to control myself.

 

I sat up on top of his waist and I could feel his erection hitting against my ass as he panted.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do now.  I didn’t intend for things to escalate so quickly… I just wanted to kiss him and tell him how I felt.

 

Killua was still drunk, even though he seemed more aware than he was earlier I wasn’t about to take this any further while he was like this.  It wasn’t fair.  I crossed my arms and debated back and forth inside of my head as Killua stared up at me, confusion written on his face.

 

“Uh, Gon?”

 

“Mm, yeah?”

 

“What are you doing?  You’re just like… sitting on my dick.  Kinda hurts.”

 

“Agh! Sorry!” I shouted and jumped off of him immediately.  He sat up looking disappointed.

 

“You… didn’t have to stop,” he said looking embarrassed, but I could tell he was coming down from the high.  He looked a little pale even.

 

“You okay?” I asked, worry winding itself onto my face.  I'm not sure exactly what I was asking him if he was okay about.  Was I regretting my actions?  Would he even remember this tomorrow?

 

He didn’t say anything, just swayed unsteadily where he sat, I rolled my eyes.  He was gone.  He seemed alert a bit ago, but now that the excitement had faded Blackout-Killua was coming to spend the night.

 

“Okay, buddy, time for bed,” I sighed and drug him to his feet.  Without even an objection he wound his arms around my neck and leaned against me heavily, so I just scooped him up from under the knees and decided to carry him.  He wasn’t going to remember any of this.  God damnit.

 

Once I had set him down in the tent he was just sitting there looking at me, saying nothing, looking a little confused and I had a choice  to make.  Do I take some of his clothes off?  Would he be fine if I just left them all on?  Killua never slept in jeans but he was out of his mind.

 

I finally kicked off my combat boots and was about to toss them outside the tent when I heard Killua gasp.

 

“What?!  What’s wrong?”

 

“YOU AREN’T WEARING SOCKS!” he screamed at me pointing at my feet like they were actually live snakes.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I can’t believe this is what he worries about.

 

“You nasty,” he whispered, head falling to the side, his eyes completely unfocused and slowly closing.

 

I gently pushed him down until he was laying on his pillow and I turned him on his side.  I covered him up with his sleeping bag.  “Don’t puke in your sleep,” I whispered and turned the lantern off, wiggling out of my jeans and flannel.

 

I can’t believe I had just experienced the best night of my entire life and Killua wasn’t going to remember a second of it.  Well, if he wasn’t going to remember I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I… laid with him.

 

***

 

**Killua’s POV**

 

I woke up feeling exceptionally hot and my head was pounding.  I tried to move but discovered I couldn’t.  Before I began to panic a soft snore behind me helped me figure out just what was holding me down.  Gon was pressed up against my back, his right arm draped over my waist, his body roughly the temperature of a burning inferno.

 

“What the..” I rasped trying to wiggle free.

 

Gon only seemed to grip me tighter as I tried to escape.  But I was feeling all kinds of really uncomfortable things right now.  Was I going to piss myself?  Was I going to vomit?  Who knows but I needed to get out of this stuffy tent.  What even happened last night?  It was all a blur.  The last thing I remember was sitting around the fire, Gon’s head laying on my shoulder.  My face began to burn at the memory.  I glanced at Gon’s watch and realized it was still only 3 AM.

 

As I attempted to delicately remove Gon’s dead weight from me, I thought I heard a sound coming from outside the tent. 

 

At first it almost sounded like someone had turned on a tape recorder, there was a static crackling sound around me, and the air seemed to be full of electricity.  I strained to listen as the static got louder and I began to hear a voice.  It sounded like a person, but far away.  You know like when you’re in a tunnel?  Except I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the sound was coming from, it seemed to be coming from all sides.

 

I fumbled my way out of the tent, not sure where the sudden bravery had originated from, but I felt compelled to go out.

 

The sound only intensified and my nose was suddenly met with the smell of a dead animal.  It reminded me of when you passed some road kill that’s been sitting out in the sun a few days too long.  I gagged and tried to cover my mouth and nose.  What the hell was this?!

 

I whipped my head left and right, spinning on my heels and trying to locate where the sounds and smells were coming from.  If I wasn’t feeling sick before my stomach was definitely churning now.

 

“Killua.”

 

I turned towards the treeline so fast I almost fell over.  All of the noises had stopped, but the stench still lingered.

 

“Killuuua.”

 

What was this voice?  Who was saying my name?  It sounded like a voice I had never heard before.  It sounded like someone who was trying desperately to mimic human speech, but just falling short of perfecting it.  Every hair on my body stood on end as I began to tremble, eyes frantically darting through the trees.  Is this what I had sensed earlier on the hike?  Was this… this thing following us all of this time?  My breathing increased rapidly to a point where I was sure I was hyperventilating, my head feeling like there was a pressure so intense that my brain would burst.

 

Then finally I saw it emerge from the protection of the trees, the moon illuminating just enough for me to get a good look.

 

At first glance it just looked like a regular man, but flickering as if it were a hologram with a bad signal.  I drew my eyes from the scuffed boots to the dockers that were definitely not in style.  A tattered jacket that I’m pretty sure my grandpa owned draped over sloping shoulders.  I was terrified to look into the face but I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away.

 

My name continued to swirl around us in varying degrees of urgency, but no lips were moving.  In fact, to my great horror there was no face to speak of.  Just a blurry white shape where a man’s head should be.  I was frozen to the spot as the shape began to contort, and a wicked smile began to crack into view on this void of a creature, the smell of death finally overcoming me as bile quickly rose up my throat.

 

I doubled over in pain as I vomited all over the forest floor, gasping for breath and tears streaming down my face.  I coughed trying to get it over with quickly so I could run away, but by the time I was able to look up again, the forest was still, and I was alone.

 

I stumbled back, feeling dizzy and still sick as I heard rustling from the tent behind me.

 

A sleepy Gon poked out his head, blinking at me in the moonlight.

 

“Killua… you… you okay? I thought I heard… something.” he rubbed at his eyes.

 

I couldn’t even respond as my dry heaving started again.  I’m never fucking drinking in the woods again.

 

I heard Gon tiptoe up behind me and stand awkwardly, just far enough away that he wouldn’t get hit with any splashback from my gross puking.

 

After we were both certain I was completely empty and could barely stand, Gon grabbed my shoulders and slowly directed me back to the campsite, muttering about this being his fault and he let me have one too many.  I was too mentally and physically exhausted to argue with him or relay to him what had just really happened.  I rinsed my mouth out with some water and Gon helped me take off my t-shirt and jeans.

 

As we laid back down in the tent I didn’t even have the strength to push Gon away as he cuddled back up next to me, snoring in seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Killua. POOR GON! Will I ever stop torturing them? Probably not, but stay tuned anyway!
> 
> I hope you all are having a peaceful morning, afternoon or evening!


	5. Alluka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back story on Alluka. Killua thinks about how he really feels about Gon.

**In x The x Dark**   
**Chapter 5 - Alluka**

My little sister was born premature.

I can’t tell you any of the details because I was still just a baby myself. But I’ve heard stories from my older brother Illumi, who was 13 at the time.

He said they had to keep her in a small plastic box in the hospital for 2 months, hooked up to various wires, her tiny heart keeping a steady beat on a monitor nearby. We don’t talk about it much in my household, it’s just one of those things you keep to yourself, and it gets swept up under the rug.

I remember being maybe 4 or 5, adventurous and brave to a fault, sliding down the grand staircase and skinning my knees. Growing up in a mansion worth millions was just one big playground to a little kid. I was always getting into trouble, but it was mostly because I was so bored. You would think in a house full of so many siblings that I would never be alone.

Illumi is 12 years older than me, so he didn’t wanna babysit a brat like me. Milluki was 7 years older than me, his door was always locked while he played video games, I wasn’t even allowed to watch. Kalluto was just a baby, who my mother never stopped fussing over.

Alluka developed much more slowly than other children. I would always creep to her room on hot afternoons, where she was stuck in bed, always sick. Illumi told me it was because her immune system just wasn’t very developed, and that always made me feel sad. I would sneak fruit roll-ups up to her bedroom and sit at the foot of her bed, making silly faces and gorging ourselves on sugary snacks.

My favorite butler, Gotoh, was usually the one who busted me.

When I was 8, Alluka became very ill one night. Worse than ever before, her fever was so high her body threatened to cook her alive. I remember an ambulance had to come, my parents were yelling. But Alluka was screaming. I’ve never heard sounds come out of a person like that before. It almost sounded like two people yelling at once, one being my sweet little sister, the other something else.

As they strapped her into the gurney and carried her outside, I’ll never forget my brother Illumi nervously making eye contact with his weird friend, Hisoka, who was spending the night. They looked guilty, and I didn’t think much of it when I was young, but it bothers me now.

Once Alluka was deemed well enough to return home, they brought her back into her big, plush bed. But she wasn’t the same girl who had left that house. The once sweet and loving girl who I adored was now moody and unstable. Sometimes she would seem like her old self, but then other times I would look her in the eyes and feel like I was staring at a stranger. I would feel afraid, and unsettled. Her games became violent, and her speech became worrisome.

I once looked her straight in the face and asked, “Who are you?”

She smiled that unsettling smile before responding, “I am Something. And I have many requests.”

I was silent.

“Would you die for me, Brother?” she asked, cocking her head curiously to the side.

I didn’t know how to respond.

“I would like it very much if Brother died for me,” she cackled and I didn’t feel like playing with her anymore.

Sometimes we could hear her laughing at night, echoing down the halls. It wasn’t childlike, or happy, but cruel and menacing, and my parents spared no expense when hiring the best of the best doctors and therapists, searching for a cure.

I don’t remember exactly when it all stopped, but it was just so long ago.

***

After my terrifying experience at the edge of the woods, my completely empty stomach and I had been settled comfortably back inside the tent with Gon. I still felt nauseous but I would live. Unfortunately I had a habit of getting too fucked up, but would rather die than admit I was a lightweight.

He, of course, had gone back to snoring in minutes, his scorching body much too close to mine. I wanted to sleep but I was far too uneasy to even close my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I had to have been sleepwalking, right? But it was all real, and my fingers were still trembling.

I couldn’t help but think about my little sister after the memories of our childhood flooded back to me. What had happened? And what did my brother and dumb Hisoka have to do with it? I was convinced now that the things that had been happening around my family for most of my life weren't just coincidence.

But it had been years and years since anything had happened. And why was I only remembering it now? None of this sat well with me.

I turned uncomfortably to lay on my back and stare at the tent’s ceiling. Gon still hung over me like heavy drapes and I swore I was going to suffocate. How could someone just fall asleep so quickly and so soundly? Plus not to mention he was practically hugging me like a teddy bear. I was embarrassed… but at least I felt safe. Gon was home, and the soft lingering of cheap beer and cigarette smoke stuck to him like a blanket. It all comforted me. The fact that Gon didn't seemed even the least bit afraid through the last week made me feel safer, too. Like it would all be alright as long as he was here with me.

It would be another couple hours until the sun would rise. As much as I hated to cut this trip short I wondered if Gon would agree to leaving in the morning. Guilt washed over me knowing just how much Gon loved the woods. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

I wanted to be brave and just forget all of this, just laugh it off and pretend it never happened. I wanted to. I wish I could be like Gon, and never seem to have any fears, even in the face of imminent danger. I may have acted like he was an idiot but I was envious of his strength.

Gon… was amazing.

I felt scandalized by my own thought, but it was starting to feel right. For some reason I felt like things were changing between the two of us. And not in a bad way, but something felt different, and new.

If you would have asked me a few years ago how I felt about Gon Freecs I would have declared he was my very best friend. My best friend who didn’t shower enough, and wore clothes out of the dirty pile. My best friend with crooked teeth, one of his front teeth wasn’t even REAL. He liked fishing, and worms even though they made me wanna puke. Gon liked good music and greasy food.

But how did I feel about him now? I felt like his smile was charming, despite the phony tooth. His freckles spread over almost every pore of his face, like hundreds of tiny raindrops on his dark, bronze skin. His hygeine still needed work, but the smells of various substances usually outweighed his need to shower. Gon was brave, loyal, and full of more life than any other human being I had ever met. He kept me on my toes, with smiles on my face despite my bad attitudes, and a jump in my pulse when he reserved all of his time just for me.

The way he said my name, criminal.

I groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t anything ever make sense or be easy in my life? How was I going to cope with all of these new found feelings for Gon? Could he ever possibly feel the same? Flashes of a dream of Gon and I kissing passionately on the dirty ground passed behind my eyelids and I snapped them open immediately.

Where did THAT come from?!

I must have dreamed about it in my drunken stupor and it was coming back to me now. I began to feel more and more uncomfortable with his arms around me as more vivid images played in my mind. Moaning, swearing, sweating. I quickly tried to think about anything horrible (Milluki in a bikini!) to keep my body from reacting while I was trapped in Gon’s embrace. I didn’t want to have to explain THAT.

Deciding I couldn’t spend another second in this human cocoon, I finally pushed Gon’s arm off of me and wiggled free. I pushed him onto his back which didn’t really accomplish me making room for myself, but at least I wasn’t in hugging distance. I sighed and wondered how he could possibly sleep through this, but this was fine. I wasn’t ready to face Gon just yet.

I squeezed myself onto my side as far away from Gon as possible, waiting for the sun to rise.

***

As the birds began their incessant chirping and the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, I mourned the fact that I hadn’t slept a wink since I had first awakened during the night.

I just laid there, listening to Gon breathe, sometimes in the form of obnoxious snoring, until I’d arrived at this point. It was a godsend when I heard him begin to stir next to me, an early riser as always.

“Morning, Killua,” he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as I rolled over to look at him.

“Mmm,” he hummed as he squinted at my face, “you look like shit.”

“Yeah well! You...don’t,” I finished lamely, realizing he looked like he had just had the best sleep of his entire life, already looking alive and awake. I scowled.

“About last night…” Gon began, a pained look painting his face.

“No,” I interrupted, “Just forget about it, I uh, drank too much, like usual. Sorry you had to take care of me.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, scratching at the back, my nervous habit. I didn’t want Gon to have to feel responsible for me. I made my own choices, even if they were poor ones.

He looked like he had something else he wanted to say but decided against it. I didn’t pry. I was embarrassed enough as is.

“But…” I started. He looked at me imploringly. “I hate to ask, Gon, but would you be terribly upset if we left today? I know we planned on staying all weekend, and I really, really wanted to! Man, I was planning on partying all weekend! But I just don’t feel great now, and I feel like we should go home. That is… if you want to.” My face burned with shame that I even had the audacity to ask him to cut his vacation short for me. But when I lifted my head to face him I was blinded by a genuine smile.

“No problem, anything for Killua,” he beamed, and I knew he meant every word. “In fact, we can pack up right now, let’s go home, okay Killua?” He lifted his hand towards my face, then pulled back, like he was confused over his own actions, before getting up to pull on his clothes and put on his shoes.

I sat there in a stupor long after Gon had exited the tent. I could hear him tidying up outside, throwing away beer cans and whistling all the while. My head was filled with a dull pain, and my heart was full with an ache I didn’t understand.

I didn’t deserve Gon Freecs. My best friend in the entire world, who I was falling deeply and desperately in love with.


	6. Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Killua stop to get some food on the way home. A bit of an argument ensues as Killua avoids going back to the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's been forever. I actually have had this chapter written for a while but I try to keep like 2 steps ahead of the game before I post. I decided just to post this and worry about working on the rest later, I've been super distracted by a lot of other projects within the universe of this AU. Thanks for understanding!

**In x The x Dark**   
**Chapter 6 - Diner**

**Gon’s POV**

I had packed up the rest of the Jeep by 9 AM and made sure we left as little of a trace of our presence behind as possible. I had insisted Killua wait in the car, I settled him into the passenger seat with pillows and blankets, regardless of his bitching at me that he could take care of himself. By the time I had sat myself into the driver’s seat he was already fast asleep, head lolled to the side and his mouth slightly open. He looked so cute and finally at ease.

I didn’t want to make too fine a point of it but when I first saw him this morning he looked absolutely horrible. Dark circles hung heavy under his eyes, his skin paler than I even thought possible. Something was wrong. He had been acting strange all day yesterday, jumpy and irritated. Killua was always slightly moody, but usually not out of fear.

He could hold his own in a fight, if the numerous scraps I’d had to pull him out of over the years was any indicator. The blood usually wasn‘t his. And if I hadn’t intervened he would probably murder someone. It was funny for about the first 5 minutes or so, he would launch himself straight at the waist, no matter the size of his opponent, knocking them over to begin his barrage of pummels to the face, screaming some of the filthiest shit I have ever heard in my life. That was always the point I realized I had to prevent him from going to jail.

But right now he was fighting something I couldn’t just grab him out of by the shoulders. I couldn't just dust him off and say that’s enough, and walk him to the boy’s room where he could wash off the stains. I could cover knuckles in band-aids, but I couldn’t put a bandage over fear.

When we got back into town I was going to take him to lunch, food always put Killua in a good mood!

***

When we finally pulled into the parking lot of our favorite diner, Killua was still sound asleep, looking more dead than peaceful at this point. Poor hungover Killua. I hated to wake him but I was starving.

“Hey,” I said quietly, jostling his shoulder lightly. His head shook a bit and I could see the trail of drool hanging out of his mouth and onto my car door. He was definitely cleaning that up. “HEY!” I said a bit louder and gave him a shove.

His eyes shot open and he whipped his head around quickly, focusing on me. I grinned as his eyes turned from startled to angry.

“What the hell, Gon?!” he yelled and shoved me away. I laughed good naturedly.

He wiped at his mouth before taking in his surroundings and realizing we were at the diner. And his face softened a bit.

“What time is it?” he asked, trying to peek at my watch.

“Around noon,” I responded, unbuckling my seatbelt. “Which means it’s time for lunch, I’m starving.”

“I could eat,” he agreed as he too unbuckled himself and began removing the various blankets and pillows I had cocooned him into.

The bell on the door gave a delightful tinkle as we walked inside and found a booth to sit in. Killua slid into his seat like he had just made a home run while I followed much more slowly behind him. Killua was already eagerly scanning the menu for probably 500 things he planned on ordering.

I sat down and pretended to browse the menu as if I didn't already know what I was ordering. A cheeseburger and fries was my standby.

By the time our waitress arrived, flirty and energetic, Killua looked like he had made some choices.

“What can I get for you, Hon?” she asked me, tossing her red curls over her shoulder, pen and pad at the ready. Her name tag read “Wendy”.

“Ah, just the cheeseburger and fries for me.”

“And to drink?”

“Iced tea, unsweetened with lemon, please.”

“And you, Sweetheart?” she turned her attention to Killua and I immediately felt bad for her. I could see him readying himself to order some ridiculous amount of food.

“I want a chocolate milkshake, with whipped cream and a cherry. And a hot fudge sundae, with whipped cream and a cherry, no nuts, I hate nuts. Oh, and the waffle combo, extra syrup, whipped cream, and strawberries, oh, and blueberries. Just put the eggs and bacon on a different plate, on the side.” He paused before adding, “Oh, and a diet coke!”

“Really, Killua?” I said incredulously as the poor woman struggled to jot down all of his requests.

“What? I'm watching my figure.”

“I can't take you anywhere,” I muttered and Killua flashed me his most innocent grin, that actually kind of looked evil. He should stop.

“So what do you wanna do when we get home?” Killua asked, ripping his napkin into strips for God knows what reason.

“I don't know… Killua you realize you haven't been to your own house in like over a week right? Don't you think your family misses you?”

“Who, me? The difficult son? I doubt it.” he waved his hand at me as if I was being ridiculous. He continued creating what I could only describe as a big fucking mess with his napkin on the table.

“Stop that,” I scolded, wiping the pieces away from him in a neat pile next to me. His nervous habits made me nervous. He scowled at me before leaning back in his seat, putting his arms behind his head in regular aloof Killua fashion.

“I’m serious, Killua, you really need to go home. I don’t need your family to have another reason to hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” he said quietly, which wasn’t very convincing. I had a long history of desperately trying to get Killua’s family to accept me, with little triumph. It was a miracle they ever let him attend the public school with me instead of the private one the rest of his siblings attended, and some were still attending. I still have no idea how he swung that one.

We lapsed into a slightly uncomfortable silence, the only noise around us being the chatter of the other patrons in the diner. Killua had somehow obtained another napkin that he had begun tearing into shreds, and this time I just let him go.

I rested my chin in my hand and we sat there avoiding each other’s gaze until the food arrived. There were three people carrying all of our food and I was mortified, but Killua didn’t seem to care as he quickly dropped his attitude, eyes lighting up in anticipation of his meal.

Once everything was delivered and accounted for I thanked the staff profusely as Killua immediately began double fisting his milkshake and bites of waffle simultaneously.

“You're going to get a stomachache,” I warned, sliding his eggs and bacon my way. We both knew he wasn't going to eat them. It was just tradition that he gave me his side dishes to put on my burger.

“I don't get sick,” he scoffed between bites of food.

“Uh huh,” I disagreed, remembering more times than I could possibly count of Killua being sick, one of which was less than 12 hours ago. He ignored me.

“Aunt Mito told me you're not allowed to puke in the grass anymore, you've gotta do it inside. You're fucking up some of her grass by the garden.”

“Aunt Mito didn't say that, you liar!” She did.

“Besides, Killua always drinks too much. You should know by now what you can handle. You're smaller than me, Killua, you just can't expect to be able to keep up.”

“Whatever.” Killua threw down his fork on his empty plate, making more of a scene than I wanted to deal with right now. I loved him to death but after being with him 24/7 for over a week I just needed a day to myself. He angrily began shoveling his sundae into his mouth as I just watched, my burger barely touched. I didn't feel like eating anymore, I would just take it to go.

Once Killua had demolished all of his sweets (I refused to call that lunch) we silently waited for our check. Soon our waitress came our way.

“Were you boys thinking about any dessert?” the waitress, Wendy, asked eyeing Killua wearily.

“I'll have some banana creme pie to go.”

“Just a slice?”

“Oh no, I like, want a whole pie, to go.” Killua looked at her seriously, and once she realized he was telling the truth, turned around to put in his order, muttering about bringing a to go box for my sandwich.

Knowing Killua would have to handle the bill anyway, I decided to excuse myself to the restroom before we left. It would be another half hour to get him home and I didn’t feel like waiting.

***

**Killua’s POV**

Gon got up to excuse himself to the bathroom and I began to feel a little bad about arguing with him. I hadn’t been feeling like myself at all the last week or so, and with all of these bad feelings surrounding me I was just getting overwhelmed, taking it out on Gon, who didn’t deserve any of this.

I laid my head in my hand, and began to stare into the booth behind us when something caught my eye.

There was a man sitting in the booth all by himself, studiously filling out a crossword puzzle, coffee held close to his lips. His hair was blonde, cut into a chin length style. But what really caught my eye was that on one side of his face his hair was tucked neatly behind his ear, revealing a dangling ruby earring. I stared mesmerized, watching the earring bob back and forth with every nod of his head. I began to wonder why he was alone. Would I ever be brave enough to have coffee by myself?

Before I could let my thoughts get away from me Wendy was back with my pie, check in hand. I thanked her and handed her my debit card. Good think my parents were loaded and I had a huge allowance. The bill was almost 50 dollars.

Gon slid back into the seat across from me, once again blocking my view of the mysterious blonde man.

“You fall in?” I joked, peeking at my pie.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Gon laughed, packing his burger and fries away into the takeaway container. “Glad to see you’re in a better mood though.”

“Yeah, sorry, man,” I apologized. “Oh, hey, so I was thinking. What do you think about earrings?”

“Huh? What about them?”

“Like, do you think I would look cool if I got them?” I asked seriously, touching my ears in emphasis. Gon cocked his head ot the side and observed my face.

“Hm, yeah I think so. I think Killua should do what he wants!”

“You’re no help,” I sighed, “I’ll have to see if my brother will take me to the mall later, he’d have to sign for me.”

“You think he would do that?”

“I don’t know, Illumi is weird. But if I act like it’s some kind of bonding experience he probably will be all over it.” My oldest brother had some weird obsession with me liking him. Though for someone trying to win my affections being Mom and Dad’s faithful watchdog wasn’t a good place to start. In fact, I wasn’t going to ask Illumi at all.

“I have a better idea,” I said, scribbling my illegible signature across the receipt. Gon and I stood up, our takeaway containers in tow, to leave. I noticed the man wasn’t there anymore. Weird.

“Killua?”

“Hm?”

“I said what is your idea?” Gon looked at me earnestly. Oh, right.

“Oh, I’ll just pierce them myself. I’m sure Alluka will give me a set of earrings. You know, needle and the apple trick.”

“You’re an idiot,” Gon laughed, opening the passenger side door for me. Why did he always do that? “But you’ll have to show me your handiwork Monday morning. I’ll be picking you up at 7 AM. DON’T BE LATE. If you’re not in the car by 7:01 I’m leaving without you, I swear.” It was an empty threat and he knew it.

Right… school started on Monday. I’m sure the teachers and students alike couldn’t wait for another exciting year with the infamous Killua Zoldyck, troublemaker extraordinaire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a great morning, afternoon, or evening!


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua finally goes home and spends some time with Alluka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so distracted by life lately but I was able to sit down yesterday and work on this! Thank you for all of your patience! I had to cut this chapter in half because I try to make them all a certain length, so hopefully the next part will be out soon! LEORIO NEXT CHAPTER!

**In x The x Dark**   
**Chapter 7 - Home**

**Killua’s POV**

I slunk into the mansion as quietly as I possibly could, but Gotoh still managed to greet me despite my stealth.

“Master Killua, you’ve returned. Welcome home.” he greeted, attempting to take my bag. I pulled it from him gently, it all needed to go back up to my room anyway.

“Thanks, uh, no need to take this, I’ll take care of it.”

“As you wish.”

I was about to dash up the marble staircase when Gotoh cleared his throat to address me again, and I spun around, foot halfway up the first step.

“Master Killua, a word of advice, perhaps shower away the smell of illegal activities before speaking with your parents?” he smirked.

My face broke into a huge grin, Gotoh always had my back. “Of course, thanks!” And with that I took the stairs two at a time up to my room.

My bedroom was one of ten bedrooms in this part of the main house. My parents of course had a gigantic master suite on the first floor, taking up an entire wing of the downstairs. The other 9 bedrooms were all on the second floor. 5 of them each housing me and my siblings respectively, the other 4 being “guest rooms” though no one had ever really had guests over. One had belonged to my grandfather before he passed away.

The nice thing was that all of the upstairs bedrooms were suites. We all had our own bathrooms, as well as a conjoined area to the bedroom to do with what we pleased. I never had to share anything with anyone.

I ran into my room, the second door on the left, locking it swiftly behind me, throwing my bag on the floor. It looked like they had cleaned in my absence. I shrugged and began stripping off my clothes, tossing them in the laundry basket before making my way into the bathroom. I would kill for a shower after being outdoors all of Friday. One thing I hated more than anything in the world was feeling dirty, it made my skin crawl.

I turned on the water as hot as I could possibly stand it, ready to wash away all of the dirt, grime and sweat accumulated this weekend. I wouldn’t be satisfied until my skin was red and stinging, the steam filling up my lungs like every substance I ever willingly took into them.

I grabbed my toothbrush and began vigorously scrubbing at my teeth as the water heated up, almost enough to make my gums bleed. With the amount of strain I put my teeth through the least I could do was keep them taken care of. I was a regular at the dentist, they fucking loved me.

I stepped under the spray of hot water, closing my eyes and trying to forget everything that had happened recently, down to the more frequent fights with Gon. I poured a liberal amount of my fancy shampoo into my hands, scrubbing and running my hands through my hair, feeling more in control of my life in the safety of my shower. Was everything happening all in my head? Was I imagining the weird, spectral happenings of the past 2 weeks? Was I just paranoid? Goosebumps rose all over my skin despite the boiling hot spray of the water, and I opened my eyes, deciding I really needed to stop thinking about this. I would only drive myself insane.

As I began lathering and scrubbing my body as thoroughly and precisely as possible it almost felt as if the water was getting colder, which seemed impossible. I had barely been in here for more than 5 or 10 minutes. I had taken hour long showers before and never had my water gone cold. It suddenly felt as if I was being pelted with shards of ice and I quickly turned off the faucets, my breath visible in front of me.

“What the..” I began as the entire room was suddenly plunged into darkness, and I almost slipped and fell in my haste to jump out of the shower, dripping wet and shivering, panic forcing my heart to beat rapidly against my chest. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my quaking body, trying to control my breathing which had become a staccato of inhales and exhales, sharp and painful in my lungs.

Just as I was about to run out of the room like a bat out of Hell the lights flickered back on, and the temperature of the room seemed to be rising back to it’s normal steamy warmness. I whipped my head back and forth around the room, panting so loudly in my own ears it sounded as if they were ringing. But the room itself was deadly quiet, the only other sound audible over my gasping breaths was the quiet drip, drip, drip of the showerhead.

I finally began to calm down, taking deep shuddering breaths, my hands held tightly to my chest, water dripping down my face from my hair in tiny rivulets. It was then that I noticed the mirror above the sink, steamed up from the heat of the shower, a terrifying message written in hasty, dripping script: “We’ve been watching you.”

“FUCK THIS!” I screamed before bolting out of the bathroom, slamming the door effectively behind me. I slid down the back of the door, my body crumpling beneath me like mounds of dust, holding my head in my hands. What the fuck was happening to me?

***

Once I had found the strength to pull myself up off of the floor and throw on some clothes, I crawled onto my bed, defeated and helpless.

A tentative knock at my door made me jump 10 feet in the air before I heard my sister’s soothing voice traveling through the thick sturdy wood.

“Killua? Can I come in? I thought I heard you come home.”

I stumbled my way to the door, unlocking it quickly and letting my favorite sibling inside. I pulled her into a hug instantly.

“Killua? You’re shivering. What’s wrong?” Her arms wrapped around me protectively like a thick blanket, helping the fear melt straight out of my body into a puddle on the floor. I held her tighter, the familiar scent of her apple shampoo and light perfume filling me with comfort.

“I’m just fine, I’m cold,” I whispered into her hair, forcing my body to behave and stay still, the trembling coming to a stop. “I missed you, Sissy.”

“Sure you did,” she huffed, breaking our embrace, beginning to dig through my closet with ease. “For someone who misses his sister so much he doesn’t even call when he’s with GON!”

“Hey, what’s with that tone?!” I didn’t like the way she spat Gon’s name with such mischief lilted into it.

“Oh, nothing,” she sang, tossing me a sweater, which I gladly pulled over my thin t-shirt. She made her way over to the bed and sat down with me, her legs crossed comfortably in her leggings and colorful skirt. “I just think you spend an awful lot of time with that pretty boy.”

“P-pretty?! Gon?!” I could feel my face getting warm at the thought.

She rolled her eyes at me, her glittery nail polish waving in front of my face as she wagged her finger back and forth at me.

“You shouldn’t lie, Killua. It’s an ugly look on you.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just saying,” she leveled, brushing my wet hair out of my eyes with her fingers, a gentle look in her eyes, “that maybe you should trust your sister a little bit more with your secrets. Especially ones you leave written all over your big dumb face.” She punctuated by poking me in the forehead, and all I could do was pout in return.

I supposed eventually this time would come. Sooner or later I was going to have to face my feelings about Gon. And who better to share them with than Alluka? I let out a heavy sigh and focused my eyes on the vaulted ceiling of my bedroom, falling back onto the mattress with a thump.

“My brother, the drama queen,” Alluka tutted, peering over at my face, her ponytailed hair swinging with the movement.

I grimaced as I felt her imploring eyes trying to look right into my very soul. Alluka had that magic about her, confident and poised, yet absolutely sweet and inviting at the same damn time.

“I’m fucked, Alluka,” I hissed as all of the energy drained from my body. She stayed silent, cocking her head to the side slightly to notify me she was still listening. “I… I think I’m in love with Gon.”

“Tell me something I DON’T know, maybe?” she said matter-of-factly, as if I had just delivered her the weather forecast for the day.

I sat up quickly, an incredulous look on my face. “How the fuck could you know something I just figured out myself this like, past week?!”

“Woman’s intuition.”

“Puh-lease! Don’t make me puke!”

“Doesn’t take much I’ve heard.”

“You’ve heard nothing!”

“Oh, I’ve heard things,” she claimed, a wicked grin on her face as she inched closer to me. I attempted to scoot away in return.

“Y-yeah? Like what?”

“OH, GON! GON! OH GON YOU DREAMY BEEFCAKE!” she cackled as I attempted to shove her off of my bed.

“Go to Hell! You’re the worst sister ever!”

“Aw, sweetie, I’m already in Hell, forced to walk among the hot coals just to be related to my dear brother Killua.” She patted my cheek lightly as she stood up, skirt flouncing wildly with her movement as she made her way to the door. “But it’s good to see your face, Mother and Father will be pleased.”

“Hey, don’t go,” I begged, motioning for her to come back to me. She released the door knob and made her way back slowly, taking in the pathetic look on my face. She sat next to me, weaving her slender fingers and glittery nails into mine.

“You’re really not okay, are you?” she said seriously, her perfectly manicured brows knitting together with worry.

“I’m not,” I whispered. “What do I do, Alluka? How do I tell him? What if he’s disgusted and hates me?” I ran my hands through my wet hair nervously, forcing it to stick up at odd angles.

“Oh, if there’s one thing I know about your best friend it’s that he’s a sweetheart to a fault, you know that don’t you? Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s got the goo-goo eyes for my big brother as well.”

“Is that what they teach you in charm school?” I blanched, wrinkling my nose and rolling my eyes like any respectable Zoldyck offspring.

“Oh, they teach us a thing or two. Like how to hide our drugs and not leave them in plain sight.”

“WHAT?!”

“Just be grateful Canary found them and not Mother,” she whispered, slipping a small bag into my palm.

“Alluka, there’s literally barely anything left.” I leveled, observing what I knew to be a much heavier bag before. She shrugged.

“Payment, for Canary and I to hold your secrets.”

“Okay, okay. So enough about MY secrets. What about you? How’s school? You started already didn’t you?” I asked, tucking the small baggie away into my nightstand.

“Yeah, I transferred to the all girls school this year. I got my driver’s permit AND I made the Tennis Team!” she gushed flipping her ponytail left and right, her eyes sparkling with an excitement only my perfect little sister could house. I found myself smiling despite my earlier situation, I forgot how much I had missed her.

“I’m proud of you,” I said sincerely, pulling her into a hug, trying to memorize every single second of peace I felt within her presence. It wasn’t the same kind of home that Gon instilled within me, but Alluka was all the home I could ever feel in this big stuffy mansion.

“Killua?” She was pulling away from my embrace slowly, running her soft hands along my cheeks, swiping her thumbs under my eyelids. It was only then I had realized I was crying. “You’re gonna be okay, alright? Gon isn’t going to crush you, I promise.”

“It’s not that.” I heard my voice crack and wobble, a sea of emotions threatening to wash over me in choppy, ruthless waves. I scrubbed at my cheeks roughly, trying to remove all signs of my turmoil. Should I tell her about what’s been happening with me? The nightmares, the encounters? I’d been desperate to ask her if she remembered anything about the past at all, the memories I felt had been lifted and wiped from my mind until now.

“Alluka, do you have any memory of that… thing that happened to you years ago? You know that… scary shit.” I lamely asked, avoiding anything but her face in the process. I could hear her inhale rather sharply beside me, but no explanation coming forth. I stole a glance at her out of the corner of my eyes and I could see her staring off into the room, an uncomfortable look on her face. “Alluka, I’m--”

“I don’t.”

“Ah.”

“I’m sorry, Killua, I really… really don’t remember anything.” She said it with such finality that I wondered if she were even telling the truth. I searched her face for answers and found none, she looked genuinely sorry. Silence spread the room like an epidemic and I found myself fidgeting in it. I needed to calm down, I wanted to get high.

“That’s alright, it just… happened to cross my mind,” I lied, pushing the rest of my questions and worries away for another day. “Thanks for coming to see me, Sis, I love talking to you. But I think I’m gonna chill out for a bit, make some phonecalls… oh, and I want you to pierce my ears tonight.”

“What was that last one?”

“Yeah, I wanna pierce my ears, so tonight I need you to bring in an apple, an ice cube, a sewing needle, some rubbing alcohol, and stud earrings?” As I ticked the items off slowly on my fingers Alluka had already risen from the bed and made her way across the room, a disturbed look on her face.

“Whatever you say, Bro,” she sighed, and silently let herself out of my bedroom.

I dug into my side table drawer, pulling out what was left of the little baggy Alluka had handed me earlier and a lighter. I dug a bit deeper and also pulled out some rolling papers. Normally this is something I would do in the bathroom, but after what happened earlier I wasn’t taking any chances. My room faced the back of the house anyway, I may as well just sit at the window.

I rolled my eyes at what Alluka and Canary had been kind enough to leave for me. Oh well, I had to call my guy anyway. This would get me through the afternoon. I wondered what Gon was doing. I wondered if he ever thought about me too when I was away. God, I sure hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a very wonderful morning, afternoon or evening!!!


	8. Leorio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua talks with his parents and later Leorio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Leorio is in the building!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 8 - Leorio**

 

“Hello, Leorio speaking.”

 

“Yo, Grandpa, what’s up?”

 

“Killua, you smarmy piece of shit--!”

 

“Calm down, I’m kidding,” I laughed, spinning the coiled cord of the phone between my fingertips.  After the novelty of laying in my bed staring at the ceiling had worn off I knew it was time for me to call.

 

I had met him for the first time 3 years ago, he was the same age as my brother Milluki, and since they shared an undergrad course together at the local university, my brother spared no time in finding the most reliable source to buy weed off of, which happened to be Leorio.

 

His prices were steep but it was good shit.  And after I bugged Milluki endlessly for samples, he finally gave 14 year old me Leorio’s number.  As you can imagine that didn't go over well at first, but after some coaxing and me claiming to go elsewhere if he wouldn't sell to me he changed his tune.

 

Leorio was a good dude at heart.  His products were clean and safe, and he wouldn't try to pull one over on anybody.  If he wasn't trying to pay for medical school himself I'm sure he would have never even ventured near the idea of being a drug dealer.  So to keep my little 14 year old ass safe he begrudgingly agreed to sell to me, and it was a great relationship ever since.

 

“So what do I owe the pleasure of conversation with a little shit like you?  I have some ideas but enlighten me,” Leorio spoke good naturedly.  I knew the bastard didn’t hate me as much as he liked to pretend.

 

“I’m out,” I cut right to the chase, “and school starts on Monday.  I won’t make it through the week if you don’t help me out.”

 

I could hear Leorio sigh on the other end of the line.

 

“Hey, don’t you go judging me now old man!” I snapped, a bit more feisty than I had intended to be, but I was not in the mood for anyone’s shit right now, especially from a 20 something guy who slung cush for a living.

 

“You seem tense, Killua, is everything alright?”

 

“God, would people just stop asking me that?!” I exploded, pulling on the phone cord hard enough that I almost ripped it right out of the receiver.

 

“I’ll take that as a big fat no,” Leorio concluded, and I grit my teeth in frustration.

 

“Okay, you know what?  No, I’m not okay!”  I laughed shrilly, loud and fake sounding even to my own ears.  Leorio said nothing so I continued.

 

“I’ve been seeing shit, you know like, scary fucking shit everywhere I go for weeks!  I think my bathroom is haunted!  I think my life is haunted!  I saw some shadow person in Gon’s house, I saw the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life out in the woods last night!  I can’t even go to sleep without dreaming about my little sister trying to murder me, and about 2 hours ago my bathroom mirror left me a threat!  So no!  I’m not fucking fine!  My life is a mess!  And I think I’m gay for my best friend!  So give me some god damn drugs tomorrow morning, please, good doctor, before I break something!”  My chest heaved as I felt angry tears prick at the corner of my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

 

Finally saying the words felt good, but now I felt drained, and Leorio still hadn’t said anything.  I felt embarrassed immediately, wishing I had kept everything to myself.

 

“Killua, this may seem like… an invasive or insensitive question but… you’re not… taking anything else right?  No other drugs?”

 

And the rage returned tenfold.

 

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!”

 

“Sorry, sorry, of course you’re not… you’re a smart kid,” he said mostly to himself, “but maybe I can help you.”

 

“Yeah, well that’s why I called, I wanna meet up tomorrow morning.  I have money.”

 

“Well, I mean, sure but, I may be able to help with at least one of your other problems.  The spooky shit?”

 

“You… you believe me?” I gasped, sitting up and on the edge of my mattress, anger forgotten.

 

“I believe that you believe that’s what’s happening.”

 

I groaned.

 

“Hear me out, Kid, I know a guy.  He works in the library on campus, but he also runs the paranormal society around here.  Nice guy.”

 

I felt skeptical, but what could I lose just by getting a business card?  I agreed and we set up to meet the next morning around 11:30 at the diner.  I hung up the phone not feeling much better or much worse about this entire wasted day.

 

A knock on my door startled me, and I walked over to open it.

 

Canary stood there, a pleasant smile on her face, looking delighted for no reason.  I gave her a suspicious look.

 

“What’s up, Canary?  Need something?”

 

“The lady of the house asks for your presence in the study, Master Killua.”

 

“Cut the shit.”

 

“Your mom is probably waiting to beat your ass downstairs, is that to your liking, Killua?” she raised an eyebrow at me and I laughed.

 

“Much, you know I hate that formal shit.”

 

“These walls have ears, _sir_.”

 

I waved my hand at her, pushing my way into the hallway.  I was about to make my way down the stairs before I spun around, Canary still watching me as I walked by.  “Oh, by the way, thanks for not snitching,” I made a motion with my fingers to my lips with an imaginary blunt.

 

“Payment, Mr. Zoldyck, I received my fair share.”

 

“Ha, yeah, you and Alluka are troublemakers!”

 

“Said like a true deviant,” Canary smirked, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

I grinned, throwing two middle fingers her way as I backpedaled towards the stairs.  So maybe there were a few people at home I enjoyed talking to.  Didn’t mean I planned on sticking around for long.

 

***

 

I made my way to the study in record time, sprinting through the hallways and running my hands along the sterile, spotless walls.  It was hard not to feel like a small kid in a building that seemed to be tailored for giants, empty and dustless, portraits of my family lining the walls like trophies.  My school picture hadn’t been included since I was 13 and first started going to a regular public school.  I’m not sure if my parents thought this was a punishment, because the last thing I wanted to see was a 20x30 photo of my face hanging on the wall.  I did stop towards a more recent one I never noticed before of Alluka in her tennis uniform.  She looked beautiful and I smiled despite myself.

 

I opened the doors to the study simultaneously, throwing my arms out as if I was some important person making a huge entrance into a room full of admiring guests, but behind the doors sat only my mother at her large oversized desk, and my father seated neat to her on a plush armchair.

 

I strode across the room with as much poise as I could muster before plopping down in the chair sitting in front of my mother's desk.  I immediately began spinning from left to right on the wheels.  “Mother, Father,” I greeted respectively, nodding my head towards them both.

 

“So nice of you to come home, Kil,” my mother commented, taking in my mussed up hair and street clothes.  “As your father and I are most aware your school begins again on Monday, and it would be nice if you perhaps actually applied yourself this year.  Or maybe the least you can do is stay out of trouble, your father's business is doing exceptionally well right now, and as you know election season is upon us.  While I am a shoo-in to be reelected as Mayor, it would just help us immensely if you could keep yourself out of the papers.”  My father was silent next to her, but nodded along.

 

“Jeez, Mom!  That was one time!  Years ago!”

 

“One time too many, Son,” my father finally cut in with his booming baritone.

 

I scoffed, spinning the chair left and right like a petulant child, a scowl set on my face.

 

“Killua, focus!”  My father commanded, snapping his large calloused hands in front of my face.

 

I rolled backwards slightly, but otherwise ceased my movements, visions of being slapped across my face in years past dancing behind my eyes.  I shook my head slightly, once again making eye contact with my parents.

 

“Yeah, alright,” I conceded, “no trouble.  Got it.”

 

“Oh good!” my mother clasped her hands together excitedly, her business suit barely even crinkling with her movement it was so well maintained.  I stared at her perfectly brushed hair, pulled up into a powerful black bun on top of her head.  Make-up flawless and strong on her face, youthful looking despite her age and career of choice.  My mother was very beautiful, very powerful.  But looking at her made me feel sick to my stomach.  Just another reminder of the life I was born into, and had no interest in being part of.

 

“Next order of business,” Father stated in no-nonsense tones, “College.  Please tell me that you are at least considering applying.  As you know, you mother and I are more than willing to pay for it, and let you keep living here.  But, if you choose not to go, you will only receive the small compensation when you turn 18, understood?”  I felt like his gaze was staring into my very soul.  Mother, too, was looking at me with an intensity that my anxious mind was begging to tear my gaze from.  I began to fiddle with the hem of my shorts subconsciously.

 

I nodded, unable to answer.

 

“Right, well, I’m glad we were able to have this chat,” my father rose to his towering full height, and I flinched as he sunk his massive palm onto my shoulder as he walked by, in what I could only assume he considered a friendly paternal gesture.  He left the room without a word, leaving me alone with my mother.

 

She scooted closer in to the desk, laying her hands clasped out in front of her, leaning in to speak with me more candidly.

 

“Kil, it’s been a while since you’ve been home, you know.  We worry when you’re gone so long.  Heavens, who knows what you could be getting into with that boy in the woods!”

 

“He doesn’t live in the woods, Mother, he has a perfectly suitable home.”

 

“Oh, but Killua, look at you!  You look a fright!  Your face is all pale and you’ve got circles!  And your hair!”  She reached out as if she were to run her fingers through my hair, but changed her mind, pulling back and seating herself again.

 

That’s all I really was to these people.  A picture on the wall, airbrushed to perfection.  My own mother couldn’t even stand the sight of me, let alone touch me, afraid I would dirty her perfectly manicured hands.  My eyes stung as my mouth was set in a tight line, my teeth slowly biting down on the inside of my cheek, trying to keep myself from speaking.  We stared at one another for another few awkward seconds before I was dismissed, and I couldn't stand to be in that room another second.  

 

As I made my way back upstairs I could taste blood in my mouth, the only real thing grounding me to being alive.  I made my way quietly to Alluka’s room, ready to feel the pain of piercing my ears, if only for a few minutes.

 

***

 

My ears still stung when I rolled out of bed the next morning, the sound of Alluka’s shrill shrieks still ringing in my ears as she plunged the needle through my earlobes.  It’s a miracle she got them straight at all, considering I am close to positive she closed her eyes with every stab.  But upon closer inspection in the mirror this morning, aside from a bit of normal redness, they looked good, the two small diamond studs sparkling against my ivory skin.  I smiled experimentally at myself after brushing my teeth, attempting to look alive and well for once.  I was also pleased to shower without anything supernatural happening to me, perhaps that meant Sunday would be an okay day.

 

I shuffled myself into a limo with Canary around 11, wanting to make sure I gave myself plenty of time to get to the diner.  My stomach rumbled with hunger, I had completely forgotten to feed myself since Gon had taken me to lunch yesterday.  I sat in the front seat with Canary, refusing to be in that massive backseat all by myself.  I didn’t understand why my parents couldn't just give them at least one normal car to drag me around in.

 

I sat hunched over, my arms held protectively over my aching stomach, so hungry that I felt sick.

 

“You alright, Killua?  You puke in my car you know and I will never drive your ass anywhere again.” Canary joked, giving me a somewhat concerned look.  I shook my head.

 

“I’m fine, just really hungry.”

 

“Sure, you going to see that boy?”  She grinned.  Alluka! I was going to murder her for sharing my secrets!

 

“Fuck off!  And no, I’m going to buy more weed because you assholes took all of mine.”

 

“Payment, Mr. Zoldyck.”

 

I had her drop me off around the corner from the diner, I hated making a scene in that stupid limo.  I had about 10 minutes to spare, so I went inside and procured a booth for the two of us.  I was elbows deep in whipped cream and waffles by the time Leorio sat down across from me, a judgemental look on his face at my choice of brunch.

 

“I didn’t order you anything,” I said around a mouthful of food, “wasn’t sure what you like.”

 

“You mean some of those waffles aren't for me?”

 

I was positive Leorio was joking, but I still tried to form some sort of impenetrable wall with my arms around my food and sent him a dirty look.

 

“Right, well, I'll probably just get a coffee and some toast anyway.”

 

“You are old,” I mumbled, quickly shoving more sugary goodness into my pie hole.

 

I waved over a waitress easily with my boyish charms for Leorio to place his order.  I didn’t want to be here all day.

 

“So tell me about this Fox Mulder dude you know, how can he help me?” I said as I wiped off my mouth, my plate finally empty and my stomach happily full.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Leorio responded, blowing softly on his cup of coffee before taking a sip.  “His name is Kurapika.  He runs the paranormal group up at school with a woman named Melody, and I hear they are quite good.  I’ve only talked to him a few times, but I did get you one of his business cards.”

 

Leorio dug into his wallet and pulled out a plain looking business card and passed it my way.  I looked at it closely.  Northeast Paranormal Society.  Kurapika and Melody.  Then a phone number.

 

“Can’t hurt,” I said, shoving it into my own wallet.

 

“Definitely not!” Leorio agreed, a serious look suddenly overtaking his face.  “But, Killua, when did all of this come about?  I don’t remember you ever mentioning delusions like this before.”

 

“They’re not delusions!” I shouted, slamming my fists on the table.  A few of the other patrons looked our way before turning back around.

 

“Killua!  Lower your voice!” Leorio hissed, dipping his head and leaning over the table towards me, as if that was going to calm me down.

 

“Okay, so they’re not delusions, but Killua, I need you to promise me that you’re telling me the truth, that you’re not taking anything other than what you buy off of me okay?  I just want to make sure you’re safe, alright?”  He tried to touch my forearm but I ripped it away.

 

“Don’t touch me,” I growled, “Just, just stop fucking doubting me.  I’m not a liar, and I’m not delusional.”

 

“Alright, I believe you.”  He sat back up straight.

 

“Good, now let’s get out of here.  We can finish our transaction in the car.  I need a ride home.”

 

“Needy little bastard… I should charge you extra for gas!”

 

I laughed after I paid our check, he was funny.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW! A couple people have reached out to me on tumblr, and I love it! If anyone is curious my tumblr name is also the-hxh-files!


	9. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which THINGS HAPPEN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited about this chapter that I decided to post it early! (Might regret that once it takes me a while to get the the next one, lol) But Gon and Killua have finally started school and THINGS ARE HAPPENING! I'm hoping to be able to pick up the pace a bit now!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 9 - Confession**

 

**Gon’s POV**

 

It was Monday, September 1, 1997, and a new school year had finally arrived.  I was a senior now.  Killua and I both were, and the feeling of making it this far and finally being on the top of the food chain was indescribable.  I took deep breaths of the crisp morning air on my drive over to Killua’s house, excitement buzzing in my stomach for the first day of the last year of high school.

 

It was still dark outside when I pulled up into his driveway at 6:55 AM, leaning over to buzz the gate of the estate.

 

“Name?”  The static of the intercom rang out loudly in the quiet morning, the unmistakable voice of Gotoh, the Zoldyck family butler greeting me.  Did that guy ever sleep?

 

“It’s me, Gon,” I said as politely as possible, “Here to pick up Killua for school!”

 

Silence met me for a few seconds, before the massive steel gates began to unfold in front of me, granting me entry to the property.  I drove slowly up the long winding driveway, smooth pavement such a luxury on my beat up wheels, used to the gritty asphalt and dirt paths of the country.

 

Once I finally reached the main driveway, where a circle of pavement led me around a water fountain, I waited by the front door.  Killua still had a few minutes to get his ass out here before I considered him late.  I tapped my fingers lightly against the steering wheel to the radio, turning it down since I was now in a residential area.  I wanted to light up a smoke but I stopped myself, I really did need to consider cutting back, now that school was afoot.

 

I sat there for a few minutes, before I could see a shadow slowly making its way down the grand staircase through the frosted window.  Something dragging slowly behind it.  That would be Killua, ready and awake for a wonderful first day of school.

 

“Good morning, Sunshine!” I greeted cheerily as I leaned over to open the passenger side door for my friend.  Killua slowly hoisted himself up inside before throwing his backpack at his feet haphazardly.  All at once the smell of marijuana hit me like a ton of bricks.  And I grabbed Killua’s face and pointed it at myself, trying to get a good look at him in the low light.

 

“What the hell, Gon?!” he mumbled, trying to pry my fingers from his chin unsuccessfully.

 

I said nothing as I observed his bloodshot eyes and the circles beneath them.  I let go of him and put the car back into drive, slowly pushing the jeep off of his property.  I could feel his eyes on me as we finally pulled onto the main road, the sun beginning to peek over the horizon, setting the sky ablaze in streaks of pink.

 

“Your earrings look nice,” I said quietly, my eyes on the road and jaw set tightly.  I really didn’t want to get into it with him today, but I was furious he was high this morning.  It was the first day of school for Christ’s sake.  I wanted to have a nice positive day.  I wanted to try to do better this year.  I was hoping Killua would feel the same.

 

“Yeah, cool, thanks,” he said just as stoically, finally turning to watch out the window instead of stare at me.

 

“Our classes are all the same this year, again, wonder if you had anything to do with that?”

 

He shot a sly grin at me from behind his hand, a row of perfectly straight white teeth glinting in the morning sun.

 

“Maybe I did.”

 

The awkward silence finally felt comfortable again, and I turned up the radio once more.  The two of us silently absorbing the rumble of the bass as we made our way to class.  I could be the bigger person and forget about why I was mad at him.  I didn’t wanna ruin today for anything.  In fact, I had big plans for today.

 

***

 

Once we had got to school and I forced Killua into one of my sweatshirts laying in the backseat, and sprayed him a few times with the cologne I had in my glove box (he only choked a few times, he’s okay!) I was more than ready to get to class and feel the familiar buzz of first day jitters.

 

Killua looked like a tiny lion by the time we reached homeroom, furious at me for trying to cover up the smell of drugs.  His hair was disheveled and his eyes were still a bit red, but he would survive.  

 

We slid into 2 seats in the back of the room, Killua immediately burying his face in his arms and flipping the hood of my shirt over his head.  I rolled my eyes.  I looked around the room as more students began to pile in, searching for familiar faces.  A few kids waved at me and I waved back with a grin.  I didn’t really have any other friends than Killua, but it was nice to see familiar people and acquaintances.

 

The first half of the day went boring enough, mostly about 10 minutes of each class spent going over the syllabus before the teachers turned us over to a free period, giving plenty of time to socialize.  I didn’t speak with Killua much, he was sleeping through half of the classes anyway.  I was torn between being aggravated with him and concerned, he hadn’t seemed to be getting much sleep lately.  It didn’t matter much in the summer, but now that school was here he really needed to be awake and coherent if he planned on passing any of our classes.  I toed at his thigh lightly with my sneaker and he didn’t budge.  I sighed and decided to find someone else to talk to.

 

Once the bell for lunch rang Killua was finally showing signs of life again, stretching and yawning as if he’d just had a great nap, not as if he had just slept through 4 periods of class.

 

“Welcome to the world of the living,” I snarked as we walked to the lockers.  Killua gave me a look like he was confused by my attitude, before shrugging.

 

“Tired, dude, sorry.”

 

“Why though?  You’ve been exhausted all week, I’m really starting to worry, Killua!”  I shoved a few newly acquired textbooks into my locker and grabbed my lunch before looking up at Killua who was standing next to me, an unreadable expression on his face.  I pleaded with him with my eyes, hoping he would give me some sort of excuse, some explanation for his weird moods and behavior.  As soon as his face began to soften and I thought his resolve would break he frowned slightly and turned away from me, slinging his pack high on his shoulder.

 

“Just can’t sleep, but I’m starving, let’s go eat.”

 

I grabbed him by the shoulder quickly, spinning him back to face me, that pesky 2 inch difference he had on me evident as I looked up into his startled eyes, a blush creeping up on his cheeks.

 

“Killua, please just tell me you’re okay?”

 

He wrenched his shoulder from my grasp, flustered and confused and began stomping in the direction of the staircase that led to the roof.

 

“I’m fine!  Are we gonna eat or what?!”

 

I sighed, following after him quietly, my paper bag of lunch held tightly in my hands.  I had to confess today, I had to.

 

***

 

Once we had stealthily reached the roof of the building I sat down against the brick wall as Killua immediately lit up a cigarette, pacing back and forth along the chain linked fence.  I watched him quietly as I dug into my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, heart pounding in my chest as all of the ways I could possibly break this to him swam in my head.  Killua was much quieter than usual, slowly walking up and down the fenceline of the roof, dragging one hand over each link as he passed, the other hand hovering over his mouth as he quickly took hit after hit of his smoke.  I would say he looked nervous as fuck if I wasn’t feeling the exact same way myself.

 

After he has tossed the butt of his cigarette to the ground and snubbed it out with the toe of his shoe he finally made his way over to me, hands stuffed into the front pocket of my hoodie, his hair lightly flipping in the wind.  I never took my eyes off of him even when he plopped down next to me heavily, digging in his backpack for a wad of snack cakes he had stashed in there.  He also pulled out an entire 2 liter of Coke.

 

“Nice lunch,” I laughed, trying to give him my best smile, an apology for my shitty attitude earlier.

 

“I’m a growing boy, you know, gotta get all those food groups in at once,” he smiled back, and I almost believed he didn’t look miserable and exhausted.

 

“Right, right.  So, twinkies and cola?  That’s all of the food groups covered.  I’m over here like an asshole with my whole wheat bread and fruit cup.  Gonna stunt my growth for sure.”

 

“Sure will, and what’s in that water bottle?  Whole milk?”

 

“Two percent,” I grinned, unscrewing the lid to give him a peek.

 

“Sick, dude!  How do you keep that cold all day?!” he blanched, shoving a whole twinkie in his mouth at once.  I would have been impressed if I wasn’t already completely disgusted.

 

“I put ice in it in the morning,” I explained, I could see the horrified look on his face out of the corner of my eye.  “What?”

 

“You put fucking ICE in your milk in the morning, so it like MELTS all up in your nasty milk bottle all day then you… DRINK this fucking milky-water hybrid beverage?!”  He was looking at me as if I had grown 3 heads.

 

“Uh, yeah?  I guess so… if you’re going to put it like that.”

 

“You’re nasty, man,” he finished his sentence by shoving another twinkie into his mouth and taking a giant drag of coke from his bottle.  I raised my eyebrow at him.

 

“Hey, Killua?”

 

“Hmm?”  He focused on me, mouth full of spongy cake and cream, a big wad of it smeared on the side of his mouth, I tried my best not to imagine licking it off of him, even though I fucking hated those things.  He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and my daydream disappeared along with the smudges of cream.  “Did you have something to say, Gon?”

 

“I like you!” I shouted, a bit more loudly than I would have liked, the words just tumbling out in a jumbled mess of syllables from my lips.  My body had kind of caved towards him, bites of my sandwich forgotten and tossed to the ground.  I must have looked like a madman, my eyes wide and pleading, hoping he understood what I was trying to tell him, but my throat had gone dry and no more words would come out.  I went to adjust myself into a better position when Killua suddenly moved, his eyes so wide I feared they would fall right out of his face.  He jumped up so quickly that he kicked over his entire bottle of soda, and it began pouring out all over the rooftop in a fizzing cascade.

 

“Killua?”

 

“I-I--I have to go to the bathroom!” he shouted before tripping over his backpack and taking off into a sprint across the roof, throwing the door open and disappearing in a matter of seconds.  I could hear his hurried and heavy footfalls for a few moments before I was left alone and in silence.

 

“Well fuck,” I said to myself quietly as I began to gather our things, slinging both of our bags over my shoulder as I lit up my own cigarette.

 

***

 

**Killua’s POV**

 

I ran and ran until I reached the second floor boy’s bathroom.  The one so far off the beaten path almost no one used it.  It was my favorite place to get lost during the day, but as of this moment it was my place to hide.

 

I fell heavily against the wall, chest heaving from my sudden bout of cardio, and I began to cough from the exertion.

 

What had just happened?  Had Gon just confessed… to me?!  All of this time I had been psyching myself up for the right time, the perfect opportunity to tell him just how I felt and he had beat me to the punch.

 

I placed my hands on my knees and tried to steady myself despite my swirling head, taking deep, steady breaths in an attempt to calm my nerves.  I swore I could feel the blood rushing through my ears as my heart beat in overdrive, thundering against my ribcage.  It was almost painful.  Was this how I was going to die?  Was I going to have a heart attack in a high school bathroom?

 

I made my way over to the sinks and twisted on the tap, splashing my face with some water and hoping the cooling sensations would quell the redness on my cheeks.

 

I reached up to grab some paper towels when an idea struck me.  I needed chaos right now.  It was the perfect way to calm myself.

 

I began grabbing handful after handful of paper towels, balling them up in my hands before making my way over to the first toilet stall in the room.  I pushed the door open quietly before tossing wad after wad of the towels into the bowl.  They must have just been cleaned because the seat was still up and they looked spotless.  This bathroom always was the cleanest.  Any graffiti in here was probably left by me anyway.  After the toilet bowl was almost overflowing with paper towels I finally reached down and pushed the plunger, the plumbing attempted to suck down the towels before sputtering and backing up, the water slowly rising until it began pouring out onto the tiled floor and I backed away slowly, feeling a bit more in control of my own life.

 

I made my way back over to the paper towel dispenser and repeated my actions, this time flooding the second stall.  I was just about to make my way over for a third time when the bathroom door squeaked open and I stood there in the middle of the room, water beginning to lap at my sneakers as Gon quietly slipped into the room.

 

“I, uh, thought I might find you here,” he said quietly, a pained look on his face as he began to observe the mess I had been cultivating in such a short amount of time.

 

I stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, my hands full of balled up paper towels and my face slowly draining of all color.  I didn't know what to say.

 

Gon set our backpacks down on a chair by the door before delicately making his way over to me.  I didn't move, just watched his every step with growing apprehension, my feet feeling like they were glued to the tiled floor.

 

“Can we talk about this?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, though he was close enough to me that I could smell the smoke on his skin.  I nodded as his hands reached out, slowly taking the paper balls from my grasp and throwing them onto the floor.  They immediately began to sop up the water on the ground, turning into piles of mush in seconds.  Gon lightly placed his warm hands around my cold clammy ones, and I could feel the tremble in his touch.

 

“G-gon I--”

 

“Why do you do this shit, Killua?” he cut me off, and I once again found myself speechless.

 

“Why do you gotta destroy things, break shit, when things get tough?  Why would you do this instead of facing me up there?  You'd rather be locked up in this gross bathroom than deal with what I was trying to tell you on the roof?  Please, please, Killua, help me to understand!”  His eyes implored me to respond, fear and sincerity wrapped up into those beautiful brown irises.  I felt completely overwhelmed with emotion as his hands gripped my own with even more fervor. 

 

“I'm sorry.”  My voice sounded small, even to my own pounding ears.  I could see his face drop, and I knew I had to speak quickly before he got the wrong idea.  

 

“I mean, I'm sorry for freaking out and leaving you up there, I um, well, honestly I was just a bit shocked because…”

 

“Because…?”

 

“Because I've been trying to work up the courage to say the same thing to you,” I finished lamely, unable to make eye contact with him.  I could hear the most relieved sigh fall from his lips and the tension leaving his body at once, our hands still connected loosely, and he swung them a bit in his excitement.

 

“Really, Killua?!  You mean that?”

 

I looked up and he was quite literally beaming at me, and I finally felt at ease, a lopsided smile making its way onto my face as well.  “I do.”

 

“Fuck, geez, I'm so happy to hear that!  Man, I've be holding that in for so long like, I mean, I thought you felt the same but I was so nervous and, God, Killua, I'm just so glad--!”

 

“Gon.”

 

“Yeah??”

 

“Shut up and kiss me.”

 

It was like I had just told him Christmas had come early, his eyes sparkled with delight as he pulled me in and crashed his lips against mine, finally letting go of my hands as he wound his arms around my waist tightly.  I lightly placed my hands behind his neck and shivered, all of the emotions of the last few weeks flooding out of me at once as I pressed my mouth against his.

 

As we finally pulled back to catch our breaths Gon’s shining eyes met mine and his face immediately went from bliss to concern.  “Killua!  You're crying!”  He began wiping at my face with his hands and the numbness settled in my brain.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled, my voice wavering with emotion, “I'm just a bit overwhelmed.”

 

“Hey, it's alright,” he assured me, placing his large, warm, brown hands on either side of my face, cradling my cheeks with enough care for another batch of fresh tears to well up in my eyes.  “I'm mean, it's a lot to think about when we just had our first official kiss in a grody school bathroom as we're standing in dirty toilet water, which, by the way, you caused to flood out all over the Goddamn floor.”  He was laughing, and as I really looked around I began laughing as well through my tears, a wet noise caught in the back of my throat, and I hastily rubbed my nose against my sleeve.

 

“We are standing in shit water,” I choked out, laughter bubbling through my entire body as I realized my shoes were drenched.  “This is the worst idea I've ever had!”

 

“Yeah, no, it wasn't great at all.”

 

I punched his shoulder lightly.

 

“The lunch bell rang a while ago, we're late for class…” Gon began and I shushed him.

 

“Fuck class,” I stated, and he shook his head at me.  

 

“No, c’mon, let's get going.  We're going to get busted if we don't leave soon, our wet shoes are already evidence enough that we were at the scene of the crime.”

 

“I guess you're right,” I agreed.  We made our way over to the door quickly, grabbing our backpacks and slipping out the door.  Our shoes were squeaking and squishing noisily on the buffered tiles, Gon grabbing at my hand as we turned the corner, only to run smack into Miss Krueger, the most militant teacher in the entire school.

 

“What are you boys doing out of class?” she demanded, looking both of us up and down suspiciously, stopping when she noticed our soaked shoes.  “And why are your shoes drenched?”  before either one of us could even respond she was pushing past us, peering down the hallway into the corridor we had just left, where water was still slowly spilling out from under the bathroom door and now flooding the hallway.

 

“Principal's office, now.”

 

***

 

**Gon’s POV**

 

Once I finally got home that afternoon, after dropping off a less than enthusiastic Killua off at his own house, I made my way through the door tossing my car keys on the kitchen table and sitting down with a sigh.  Aunt Mito made her way out of the kitchen, joining me at the table with two glasses of iced tea.

 

“How was your first day, darling?  You look less than thrilled!” she commented, a concerned look crossing her face.  I sighed again, gratefully taking the offered drink.

 

“I have detention Friday.”

 

“You what?! Why?!”

 

“I told Killua I like him so he ran off and flooded the bathroom and I chased after him so he told me he likes me too, so then we kissed in the bathroom while the toilets flooded, and then a teacher found us because we were late for class.” I barely left myself time to breathe as I explained, the words leaving me in such a rush.

 

Aunt Mito gave me a level look, seeming as if she wanted to say something to me, but chose not to, instead taking a sip of her tea.

 

The room was silent for a few grueling moments before she finally spoke.

 

“So, he said yes?”

 

“I, what?”

 

“You asked Killua to be your boyfriend I presume, and he said yes?”

 

I nodded.

 

She reached across the table and patted my hand, a warm look on her face.  “We'll have a good dinner tonight, to celebrate.”

 

“You're not mad at me?  About detention?” I asked, voice trembling.

 

“I can let the negative slide, just this once,” she gave me a sincere smile.  And my heart swelled with warmth for the woman who had taken me in and raised me as her own.

 

“I love you, Mom.”

 

“And I love you, my perfect son.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed this! Killua is so silly! I can't wait for more fun things to happen now!
> 
> I hope you all are having a great week!


	10. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Killua attend detention, then stay home for their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay people. See, I knew when I uploaded that last chapter early I would regret it because it took me... an alarming amount of time to work on this one. And, once I hit 5k words I stopped, so I actually had to cut this chapter IN HALF.
> 
> So, all my whining aside, now I get to WARN ALL OF YOU! Things get spicy in this chapter! I have finally earned the right to an E rating so yay! These boys are both 17, both consenting, yadda yadda. I am so excited to share this with you, so I hope everyone likes it! Next chapter WILL CONTAIN more spoops! They were meant for this chapter but I got... ahem... carried away! So without further ado, chapter 10!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 10 - Date**

 

**Killua’s POV**

 

The first week of school had almost flown by, and the migraine of having to attend detention on Friday afternoon was dulled slightly by the promise that Gon would be with me at least, and after we got out, I had planned our very first official date night as a newly developed couple.  The week had been weird for sure, but it was the good kind of weird that made my stomach flip and flop in a way that wasn’t just because I drink too much.  Who knew that a few casual holding of hands in the hallway and a chaste kiss here and there would be so very rewarding.

 

The new blockbuster hit movie, Titanic, had been released on VHS on Tuesday, and Gon and I had wasted no time making a stop at Wal-Mart to grab a copy since we had missed it when it was in the theaters.  I had been admiring the 2-tape monster all week in anticipation of watching it tonight.  Big boats were fucking cool.  My daydreams about sinking ships ended abruptly when I heard the last bell of the day, and I sighed as Gon sent me a gentle grin from across the aisles of seats between us.  Apparently our teacher thought us sitting next to each other was too distracting or something.

 

“You know, in all the years we’ve been friends I’m surprised this is the very first time I’ve been required to attend detention with you,” Gon laughed, tossing his backpack over his shoulder as if it didn’t weigh 50 pounds.  I shrugged.

 

“It’s not so bad, just super boring, and least you’ll be able to keep me company.”

 

Gon grabbed my hand softly and I felt all of the stuffy, aggravated feelings of the school day leave me at once.  His large calloused hands fit perfectly over mine and I couldn’t help but smile a bit at his effort, or lack thereof really, to brighten my mood.

 

The detention room was almost empty, save for a couple of kids sitting in the back of the room looking just as excited as I was to be there.  I guess not everyone was as keen as I was to be stuck in school even longer the very first Friday of the school year.

 

We sat down in the front row, avoiding the other unfortunate souls, and I wasted no time in emptying my backpack out onto my desk.  It was naturally filled with snacks, some of which were only the wrappers left as I had been digging around in it all day long.  Gon sent me a disapproving look and I could only grin.

 

Unlike Gon, I was well acquainted with the detention room, and I knew depending on which teacher was posted to watch it that day would be an indication of how miserable or alright your stay would be.  I had my fingers crossed for someone who didn't give a shit, and my pseudo prayers were answered when Mr. K walked in, his trusty newspaper rolled up in his hands.  All this dude ever did was sit there and read his paper, and rarely even noticed what was going on around him.

 

I yawned, tortured by another sleepless night.  Any time I was asleep I was having these horrible nightmares that I could never quite remember once I woke up, I only knew that I felt terrified and was covered in sweat.  I began digging into my snacks, hoping the sugar would calm my nerves.  I didn’t need Gon knowing how terrified I had been, and every shadow that crossed my path lately was enough to make me panic.  The insomnia wasn’t helping either, it was making me paranoid as fuck.

 

I could hear him scratching away next to me at some sort of homework, I guess he really was taking shit seriously this year.  I had never seen Gon so focused in the other 3 years we spent in this school together.  I was proud of him, but also a little jealous he wasn’t spending as much time focusing on ME.

 

I shoved a couple zebra cakes into my mouth practically whole, washing them down with a soda.  This was so incredibly boring I could die.  I felt myself beginning to nod off when I noticed Gon shuffling up beside me, and I perked up instantly when he leaned over to say something to me.

 

“I’m heading to the bathroom, be back in a sec,” he said, grabbing his passbook to take up to the teacher.

 

Oh.  Well that wasn’t interesting at all.  I sighed again watching his retreating figure as he left the room, but then I got a marvelous idea.  I checked to make sure Mr. K was buried behind his newspaper again before I ducked down and silently slipped out of the room.  I’ll be damned if this day was going to be boring.

 

I snuck into the bathroom quietly, making sure absolutely no one had seen me on my way here, and I could hear Gon already washing his hands.  I slipped inside the room easily, avoiding even detection by Gon’s sensitive ears.  He was whistling like a weird old man when I crept up behind him and grabbed him around the waist, shoving my body up against him and looping my chin snugly over his shoulder.  He gasped quietly before realizing it had to be me.

 

“Didja miss me?” I said softly into his ear and I felt the shiver run through his body at once.

 

“You startled me, Killua,” he whined, “and I didn't even have time to miss you yet, I've only been gone a few minutes!”  I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see my face, Gon should miss me every second of every day as far as I was concerned.

 

“Well, I missed you, so here I am,” I proclaimed, lowering my voice just enough to make Gon react the way I wanted to, snuggling him closer and beginning to kiss at his neck.

 

“Oh,” Gon gasped lowly, leaning back into me just the way I had intended him to, at least for a  few seconds, before he began to push me away, and turned to face me, a look crossed between lust and annoyance.

 

“What gives?” I pouted, shoving my hands into my pockets roughly, giving Gon a very disapproving look.

 

“Killua, we’re in detention for sneaking out of class and fucking up the bathroom, and now you’ve snuck out of detention to fuck around in the bathroom!”  The look he was giving me was I’m sure some weak ploy he was using to try to deter me from my mission, but it wasn’t going to work.  I had already made my way here, I wasn’t about to give up so easily on my prey.

 

I huffed loudly before sticking my lip out in my best impression of being heartbroken, looking down at the floor, refusing to move.

 

“Oh, no no no no, Killua, nope, not happening.”  I could see him beginning to walk away out of the corner of my eyes, but I continued to focus on the stain on the floor in front of me.  What the fuck was that stain anyway?

 

I heard him make his way all of the way over to the door before his steps paused, and the shuffle of his body told me he had turned back around.  I tried to control my mouth from grinning, I had to keep playing the part of being upset.

 

“Killua, please come back to detention with me?” he begged.

 

I didn’t even act like I heard him.

 

“Killua, c’mon, please?”

 

His footsteps grew louder once again as he made his way over to me, and when his hand connected with my shoulder to turn me around I helped him out by pivoting on my own, grabbing his face with my cool hands and pushing my lips against his roughly.  He tried to open his mouth to speak but I just wasted no time in swiping his open lips with my tongue and by then my spell had been cast, and he stopped fighting me at once, sighed into the kiss with acceptance, and one large hand wound itself up and behind my head while the other rested comfortably at my waist.  I smiled, making eye contact with him for a moment before shutting my eyes again, using my dominant advantage to lead us to the wall.

 

I pushed him against the wall lightly, shoving my tongue into his mouth as I shoved one hand into the back pocket of his jeans, the other resting against his chest.

 

“Killua, we--” he panted between fervent kisses, his hands beginning to take on a life of their own, grabbing at my clothes, trying to control himself.

 

“Shut up,” I moaned, kissing roughly over his jaw and neck, he threw his head to the side a bit to give me access, and I began to slip my hand under the waistband of his jeans.  This was new territory for us.  I knew that, but I was determined to stay out of that detention hall.

 

“Killua!” Gon yelped when my cold hand made contact with his growing erection.  I about choked on my own spit when I felt how… impressive he was.

 

“Mmm, yes I love it when you say my name,” I goaded, completely ignoring his weak attempt to send us back to class. 

 

“Fuck,” he gave in, grabbing my shoulders to steady himself as I continued to kiss his neck and wrap my hand around his hot, now completely hard cock.  Both of our panting and light moaning was echoing off of the walls of the empty room.

 

Just as I began getting completely turned on myself and was trying not to dry hump my now boyfriend like a horny dog with my hand still down his pants, the worst sound that could possibly happen during this moment occurred.

 

The bathroom door swung open.

 

We both swung our heads in the direction of the door, almost colliding foreheads as another student poked his head into the room, before he turned about 50 shades of red, quickly mumbling, “Sorry, I’ll use another room!”  The door slammed loudly behind him.

 

Fuck, my hand was still down Gon’s pants the entire time.

 

***

 

After the mood was completely ruined, Gon and I had pulled ourselves together as well as we possibly could, his lips looked a little swollen so I’m sure mine were just as bad, we slipped quietly back into the detention room, somehow miraculously unnoticed by the teacher.  It didn’t seem like he had even noticed I left at all, and the only person who seemed to care was one of the hooligans in the back of the room who gave us a salty look.  I flipped him the middle finger flawlessly as I slid back into my seat.

 

Gon was staring straight ahead at the board, his homework forgotten in front of him with a dazed look on his face, and I had to wave my hand in front of his eyes to get his attention.

 

“You okay there?” I whispered, kicking at his sneakers lightly with my own.

 

He turned to me, nodding quickly, before squeaking out, “Killua we’ve never… done anything like that yet!  And… in public!”

 

“Mmm, yep,” I agreed, twirling one piece of curled and heavily bleached hair between my fingers, “but it was nice, right?  And exciting!”  I wasn’t about to let him know my heart was also hammering wildly in my chest, the adrenaline of making the first more still fresh in my mind.

 

“Don’t get me wrong Killua it was… it was great but, maybe next time not in a bathroom?  Do you have a fetish you’re not telling me about?”

 

“FUCK OFF!” I yelped, and the teacher finally seemed to realize there were other people in the room, lowering his newspaper from his face.  The kids in the back of the room giggled quietly and I sent them my best eat shit stare.

 

“What was that, Zoldyck?”

 

“Nothing,” I grumbled.  He sent me a stern look and went back to reading the funnies.

 

Gon was giving me a pained look, like he was trying very hard not to tease me, before turning back to his homework.  I just shoved another zebra cake down my throat and decided to daydream about tonight’s “date”.

 

***

 

**Gon’s POV**

 

So my first time experience with detention was interesting to say the least.  Killua and I had done an awful lot of making out since I confessed on monday, but this was the first time we had really done anything past that, and boy, was I grateful, but I still wished he would have picked a better place and time!

 

It was a bitch getting out of the place once detention was over, Killua had eaten himself into a snack cake coma and was full-on passed out over the desk once it was time to go.  I really was worried about him, I didn’t want to mention the dark circles or his snappy attitude, but it was clear he was losing a lot of sleep for some reason.  Nothing had been the same since that first time he thought he saw someone lurking around in Aunt Mito’s bedroom, and any time I tried to ask him if anything was going on he just brushed me off like I was being crazy.

 

I was so excited to get home and pop up some popcorn, covered in extra butter for Killua and I to have our first official stay-in “date”.  He had been going on and on about his boat movie all week, and I was just excited to cuddle with my boyfriend.  Boyfriend.  I repeated the word in my head over and over and still felt like I was dreaming.  I smiled before stealing a glance at Killua, who was quietly brooding out the Jeep window.  We were almost home.

 

Aunt Mito wouldn't be home until super late tonight.  Fridays were the biggest nights at the theater after all, and we intended to take full advantage of that fact.

 

Killua really hadn’t been at the house since I had confessed to her about our dating.  It wasn’t really on purpose, I wasn’t trying to keep him from coming over, I just really was trying to get my homework done this time around, and Killua was just a distraction waiting to happen.  I worried it was my fault he had been losing sleep.

 

***

 

Once we had laid a feast’s worth of snacks across my coffee table, and made the couch as cuddly and blanket-filled as possible, Killua wrapped himself up on the basement couch while I popped in tape 1 of Titanic, excited to watch it on my massive 32 inch screen.

 

I bounced my way back to the couch and plopped down with nervous excitement, Killua sending me an annoyed look when my forced weight caused him to pop up slightly.  I grinned, grabbing his hand and kissing his nose, and his expression quickly changed to embarrassed as a flush covered his face.

 

I could feel his slender fingers weaving their way between mine, as he refused to look at me, looking straight ahead at the tv screen.  Where had all of that confidence from school gone now?  Killua was a mystery.

 

Barely an hour into the movie, which to my surprise was looking like it was more of a love story than anything else, I felt Killua’s dead weight slump against me, and I looked down to see his eyes closed and his mouth hanging slightly open.  There would be time for sleeping later, so I leaned down and kissed the top of his lovely smelling hair, jiggling his motionless hand with mine.

 

“Killua,” I whispered in his ear, “you’re sleeping!”

 

He jolted up, his head almost colliding with my chin as he looked around startled for a moment before realizing where he was and what he was doing.  He sent me a sheepish look.

 

“Sorry, Gon, didn’t mean to doze off.”

 

“Ah, it’s okay.  I just figured you didn’t wanna miss your movie.”

 

He nodded, then untangled his fingers from mine before leaning forward to pour himself another cup of Mountain Dew, and shoved a few pretzels into his mouth.

 

“This will help,” he assured me, between bits of pretzel stuffed into his chubby cheeks.  I laughed at his cuteness.

 

“I, uh, have some other ideas that may help as well if you’re interested,” I tried, putting on the most suggestive tone I could muster through my nervousness.  He squinted at me mid-bite into his twinkie, before sitting back against the couch cushions, his interest piqued.

 

“Yeah?  Tell me.”

 

“We could, we could maybe… finish where we left off at school…” I stated quietly, leaning in towards him, the cushions sinking beneath my weight.  I saw his look darken in a way that suggested he was in agreement with my plan, and he set the other half of his half-eaten snack back onto the coffee table as he leaned in towards me as well, cheeks ablaze but a confident look in his eyes.

 

I grabbed his face with my hands, scooting even closer to him on the couch so that we both dipped down and our thighs rubbed together, and he tipped his head back slightly to make his mouth level with mine before I kissed him as deeply as I possibly could.  He tasted like sugar as he always did, and even though I wasn’t big on sweets I could kiss him again and again and become addicted to the flavor.  I tipped his head back a bit more and he slowly sank backwards, leading me down with him until we were practically horizontal on the couch.

 

I felt his arms wrap around my back as the assault on his mouth continued, and I cradled one of my hands behind his head to maintain control.  I brought my other hand down from his face and began running it down his side in slow, gentle strokes.  I could feel Killua wriggle beneath me, a soft moan muffled between our mouths, enough to send my brain into a frenzy of want and desire.

 

My mind was racing a mile a minute with flashes of images of things I would like to do with him, but I reigned it in, trying to take things slowly.  My hand had reached the hem of his pullover sweatshirt and I slowly began to inch my way underneath, the coolness of his body a stark contrast to my hands that probably felt like fire on his skin, evidenced by the goosebumps that had raised all over his flesh the moment I had made contact.  He sighed into my mouth as a shiver shook through him, and I ran my hand comfortingly over his side in circles, trying to warm him up.  Sometimes I felt like if I was fire Killua must be ice, and I intended to melt him in my hands.

 

“Is this okay?” I whispered into Killua's ear as my hand traveled farther up his body and under his clothes.  I was operating on pure adrenaline now, guided by my desire and suddenly wanting to touch and taste every inch of my new love.  Killua was finicky and sometimes hard to read so I wanted to make sure I was reading his signals right.  God knows he wouldn't just come out and say what's on his mind.  I could feel him nodding as his ear brushed against my lips, and my heart jumped into my throat when I felt him grind up against my leg slightly that was wedged between his thighs.

 

“Shit,” I panted, wasting no time in shoving my hand further up his shirt, locating one erect nipple and rolling it gently between my fingertips.  I had no fucking idea what I was doing, but the sound that spilled from Killua's mouth assured me I was at least doing something right.  His eyes snapped open as if he was startled by his own vocals, which only made me growl, bending down to lick all the way from the crook of his neck to his earlobe again.  He groaned loudly, his eyes falling back to a lidded and heavy state as he ground up against my leg again.  He was as impatient as I was.

 

I licked him again before settling where his neck met his shoulder and wrapped my mouth around the flesh, beginning to suck lightly, my hand still working his nipples under his pullover.

 

“Fuck!” he swore, nails digging into my back through my thin shirt, and I felt my senses go into overdrive.

 

I continued sucking and biting at his neck, loving the way it made him writhe and wiggle beneath me, and I was concentrating so hard I was startled when I felt one of his hands fumbling with my jeans.  I lifted my body up slightly to grant him access, in which he quickly was able to unbutton and unzip my fly, and his chilly hand dug its way into my boxers to grab my straining dick.

 

“Jesus Christ,” I breathed into his neck once his hand was around me fully and began to pump me at a steady pace.

 

“Y-you're huge,” I heard him stutter quietly and I couldn't help but let out a laugh at his observation.  I wasn't about to agree with him to inflate my ego, but denying it wasn't something I was willing to do either.

 

“Mmm you think so?” I asked, abandoning his nipples now to move my hand south.  I gently let go of his head as well, resting it gently against the couch pillows so both of my hands were free.  I grabbed his hips with my hands, bending over him, curling just enough to give him room to continue jerking me in that slow way he was, and I began to lick his belly slowly from right above the navel, following his light blonde happy trail downwards, and he moaned as I felt his belly ripple beneath my mouth.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Gon, I can't believe you've been hiding this monster cock from me all this time,” he grunted, and I laughed against his warming skin.

 

“Mmm, wasn't hiding anything,” I disagreed before positioning my mouth right over where I could see his erection straining against his jeans.  I kissed him lightly over the fabric, kneading my hands harder into his hips before licking him right through his pants, and he squeaked above me before clearing his throat, and I looked up at him, grinning, while he scowled at me with his cheeks ablaze.  His hand had stopped moving down below, and while I was slightly disappointed I had a wonderful idea.  I hoped my hands were big enough.

 

“Killua, baby, I'm going to undo your pants now, alright?”

 

He didn't respond, and I looked up at him to see him looking at me determined, his face on fire all the way up to the tips of his ears.  He was nervous, but so was I.  He nodded.

 

“I'm going to need you to tell me, okay?  I want to make sure you're ready.”

 

“Just do it already!” he groaned at me, throwing his hands over his face in embarrassment, and I nodded, sliding my jeans down a bit more before I leaned over him, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping him as well.  I concentrated deeply, as if I was handling a delicate bomb, as my mouth began to water slightly at the sight of him in his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, dark against his white skin and blonde hair.  I reached down, gently sliding his underwear past his hips and to his thighs, his dick springing forward to meet me face to face, and my breath caught in my throat.

 

He looked… perfect.  Smaller than me, sure, but I was a freak case.  He refused to look at me as I continued to marvel his perfect body, and I scooted as close as I could to him to administer my plan.

 

“Killua, can you sit up a bit?” I asked, bringing my right arm back behind his back and lifting him up slightly, he dropped his hands from his face to look at me questioningly, his blush more of a pink now, but still adorable on his chubby cheeks. 

 

“Here, put your hands on my shoulders,” I directed, and he obeyed, his eyes travelling down to our unclothed dicks settled between us.  “Okay, good,” I said, “now I'm going to try something.”

 

I reached down, and with one larger than average hand I pushed us together, holding both of our cocks between my hand as I began to pump, and I felt his hands tighten around my shoulders as his eyes widened, hopefully impressed by my actions.  I kept my right arm wrapped around his lower back as my left arm worked expertly, years of doing this to myself finally being put to good use as I watched Killua close his eyes and relax in my grip, gyrating his body in rhythm with my hand’s careful work.

 

And we stayed that way, for minutes that felt like hours as I grunted and he moaned and we quietly appreciated the bliss of doing this together for the first time.  Even when the room went dark because the first tape of our movie had ended minutes ago, and ran out of tape that turned to static, we didn't break rhythm.  I could see the perspiration on his face in the low light of the television, just as I could feel it running down my own back, cooling me down in a room that now felt far too stuffy.  I suppose that's why most people remove all of their clothes to do this.  I stored that information away for the future as my pace became more erratic.

 

Killua was just mumbling out strings of curses now, his eyes closed and his brows scrunched up and I could feel that warm sensation building up in my abdomen that told me I was close, too.

 

“Gon, Gon, I think--!” I heard him mumble and I nodded, my throat feeling dry and my body was sweaty, I was seconds away from coming with him, and I administered a few more long strokes feeling his hands begin to tremble on my shoulders.

 

“Cum for me, babe,” I whispered, and that was all it took, he dropped his head down so I couldn't see his face, his hands squeezed my shoulders as he moaned loudly, both of our semen spilling hotly over my hand in spurts.

 

I slowly let go once we had both stopped shaking and I was glad for the blanket lying between us as I surveyed the mess, a miracle there wasn't cum on anything but my hand and the blanket, which could be washed.  I wiped my hand on it for good measure as Killua grimaced at me.

 

“What? It was already dirty!” I defended myself, smiling at him as he rolled his eyes, still panting and trembling slightly.

 

“Still gross,” he said slightly out of breath before remembering he was sitting there with his dick out and quickly tucked himself back into his clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles.

 

I did the same, then picked up the offending blanket and walked it straight over to the washing machine and tossed it in.  I'd worry about that later.  I made my way back over to the couch and flopped down, leaning over to kiss Killua on the cheek who seemed to be in a state of shock.

 

“Thank you for letting me make you feel good,” I smiled, and he turned to me with a small smile on his own face.

 

“Yeah, that was... very good,” he said and I was pleased, that was enough praise for me when it came to Killua.

 

“I guess it's time for part 2 of your movie now!” I said excitedly, hopping up to pop in the next tape for us, and then cuddling back up again on the couch, pleased this time at how easily and effortlessly Killua cuddled into me.

 

***

 

By the time tape 2 was over Killua and I were both sniffling messes.  He had tried to hide from me that he was crying, but once I began sobbing too we both just mutually and silently agreed to just let it go.  This isn't what I had signed up for.  I thought I was about to watch a sweet boat movie, but no.  Nothing but pain and sadness at the end.  I squeezed Killua close to me as he wiped at his eyes furiously, his nose red and cheeks splotchy, and I was sure I didn't look much better.

 

I kissed his head as I stood up to turn off the tv and flip on the light, Killua shielding his face as his eyes adjusted to the difference in light in the room and we silently began tidying up the mess of snacks and drinks we had all over the place.

 

“Good movie, huh?” I said, tossing an empty bag of chips into a plastic bag.

 

“Yeah,” Killua rasped quietly, his voice still thick with emotion and I felt my heart drop at the sound, even though I knew it was just from the dumb film.  I still thought maybe this was a good time to ask him what was really going on lately, while it seemed like his guard was down.

 

“Hey, uh, I know you don't really like to talk about it but are you doing okay, Killua?  Like how are things at home?  Are you getting enough rest?”

 

It felt like all of the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room as Killua fixed me with an icy stare.  I was taken aback by the intensity of it, which only affirmed to me that something really was terribly wrong.  But why couldn't he talk to me?  We were dating now, closer than we ever had been in our whole lives, yet he still was keeping shit from me.  I felt slightly hurt.

 

“Killua…?”

 

“I'm fine, Gon!” he bit out, throwing his plastic cup into the bag before turning away from me, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets and standing there faced away.

 

“I'm gonna go smoke, you can join me if you want.”

 

He quickly made his way up the basement stairs and disappeared.  Well, that didn't go at all as I had hoped and I sighed, slowly following after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides face*  
> I hope you all enjoyed this!   
> Have a lovely day!!!


	11. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon tries to cheer up Killua by making them a fun makeshift bed, but more hellish encounters bring both of them misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So psyched you guys loved my little smut section last chapter!!!! I was nervous as HECK. I do have a question for you guys, would you prefer I continue adding bits and pieces of that into the story, or integrate them from the side as one shots? I'm thinking I might do the one-shot thing, because I actually have already written a bunch of them and can easily just link them at the end of chapters. I'm afraid to deviate from the plot too much if I squish it all together!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has come this far with me, I have the loveliest crowd of folks encouraging me, and I appreciate each and every one of you!
> 
> So without further ado, here's more SPOOPS!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 11 - Understanding**

 

**Killua’s POV**

 

The nights were getting chillier now that autumn was fast approaching, and I shivered despite my sweatshirt and jeans.  My feet were bare as I stood on Gon’s back porch, shifting back and forth from foot to foot when the chill of the weathered wood began to sink into my heels.  I hated the cold and would do almost anything to avoid the upcoming mid-atlantic winter.  The sweat on my face just gave the wind another opportunity to chill me.

 

“I’m going to buy you some ugly slippers for Christmas,” I heard Gon joke from behind me, he was sitting in a lawn chair on the porch actually making use of the ashtray, instead of just throwing it to the wind like I tended to do.

 

“I think I’d rather freeze to death,” I responded, giving up on my cigarette and tossing it into the yard, wrapping my arms around myself as I made my way back to the chair next to Gon.  The thought of Gon making a fashion choice for me, even something as irrelevant as a pair of slippers, gave me anxiety.

 

He chuckled, and his voice was soft and warm and made me forget how aggravated I had been mere minutes ago.

 

“These chairs are fucking freezing,” I complained, wrapping my hands up in the sleeves of my sweatshirt and sitting on them, hoping my tiny thighs could provide some sort of warmth before I lost all of my fingers to frostbite.

 

“Hm, mine seems fine.  It’s only about 50F degrees out here you know, it’s not even cold yet.”

 

I snorted, and he grinned.

 

“I’m sorry for flipping out on you earlier, you didn’t deserve that,” I conceded, finally letting the guilt of my bad attitude get to me.  I shifted uncomfortably in the rickety chair, and I could hear Gon hum with thought as he took a slow drag of his cigarette, then snuffed it out in the ashtray between us.  The porch was suddenly close to pitch dark, but I could still see him angle his body towards me.  He sighed, and my stomach dropped with remorse for subjecting him to all of my problems.

 

“The problem, Killua, isn’t your attitude, so much as the feeling I have that something is going terribly wrong in your life and you’re refusing to let me in on it.”  He said it quietly, like he was the one doing something wrong.  

 

My body was quaking, whether from the cold or my emotions I wasn’t sure.  This wasn’t fair to Gon, but how on Earth could I ever tell him the truth?  I wanted to share it all with him, but when he laughed in my face afterwards I would be hurt.  What if he thought I was crazy and left me?  A life without Gon almost felt like a life not even worth living.  He had rescued me from the mediocrity of being the unloved middle child to an affluent family of CEOs, local government, and gifted children.  I felt loved, secure, and safe when he was around, so I had shifted my life entirely to surround him, and made sure I always had a way to him.  My eyes began to water, but I refused to let the tears fall, that fucking movie had my emotions all flipped upside down.

 

I sniffled, afraid to speak in case my voice would break.

 

“Killua, are you crying?!” 

 

I felt Gon’s hand shoot out to grab my elbow, and his eyes widened with concern when he felt my entire body shaking.

 

“I’m not crying,” I sniffed, “it’s just cold as-as all hell out here.”  It wasn’t a blatant lie, but Gon seemed to buy it as he wrapped me up in his arms and insisted we head inside.  I wasn’t about to argue with the second best suggestion he had made all night.  The thought of our first time being sexual with each other flashing through my mind, still a fresh memory from no more than moments before.  I felt warmer already.

 

“We’re going to bed,” Gon announced as he pushed me into the door, the warmth of the house covering me like a big blanket.  I turned my head back towards him and blinked, it was barely midnight.

 

“We are?”

 

“Yup.  I’m going to get an assload of blankets and pillows and we’re going to sleep in here, together.”

 

I looked around, the cozy TV room at the back of the house was a place we really didn’t spend much time in, no need to really when Gon had a TV in the basement.  There were two smaller than average couches across from each other, a coffee table in the center, and a TV a bit smaller than Gon’s at the front of the room in the center.

 

“You move that coffee table out of the way, I’m going to get all the blankets and pillows, and then I’ll help you squish the couches together,” he instructed, already disappearing around the corner to ravage the linen closet under the stairs.

 

My face made an “o” of understanding when I realized his plans.  We were essentially building a makeshift bed since the two of us couldn’t possibly fit on the basement couch together.  I had forgotten that now that the dynamic of our relationship had changed, it probably wasn’t going to be as appealing to sleep alone anymore, and I appreciated Gon’s efforts to bring us closer, even if I was feeling a bit of apprehension about sleeping together with him.  It’s not like it was something we hadn’t done before, just that things were different now.  Everything was different, and our roles in each other’s lives had changed.  For the better no doubt, but still, any change in my life seemed like a huge upheaval in my brain.  I held back the urge to pick at the fraying string at the bottom of my sweatshirt and instead did as Gon has asked me to, and moved the coffee table out of the way.

 

He lumbered back into the room, blankets and pillows spilling out of his arms every which way and I jumped to help him before he knocked over the lamp.

 

“I found the electric blankie for my little lightning bug,” Gon sang, stuffing the thing into my arms as I did a double take, his words registering in my mind.

 

“What the fuck did you just call me?” I asked.  I had been ignoring his casual pet names all night for the sake of not being a weird uptight asshole, but this was too much.  “And don’t call it a blankie, what are we, 5?”

 

“Mm, I called Killua lightning bug because he’s cute and full of spark,” Gon responded as he did up the couches, as if this was the most normal thing to say to me, even though it made actually no sense whatsoever.  I stared at him with my mouth shut tight having no idea how to respond.  He must have felt me staring because he flashed his big brown eyes up at me in such a way that I had to look away from him because I could feel myself getting hot.  

 

He giggled before grabbing my waist and dragging me close, our foreheads touching as I still tried to avoid making eye contact.

 

“You’re so weird,” I whispered, which only made him laugh harder as he tried to kiss at my cheeks while I pushed myself away.  Gon was all touchy-feely giddy tonight and I resisted the urge to ask him if he had been getting high without me.  I needed to be nice, I owed Gon that much at least.

 

“So, do you wanna be the big spoon or the little spoon?” Gon asked me casually, and as I turned around to ask him what the hell he was talking about he was taking off his jeans and shirt like this was the god damn locker room.

 

“Gon?!” I squeaked, trying to keep my eyes on his face and not the rest of his beautifully bronzed body, “What the hell?!  Aunt Mito will be home any minute!”

 

“Yeah? So?” he asked me as he stood there in only his underwear with a warm smile on his face.  I waited for him to say more but he didn’t, he just continued staring at me with that goofy look, like he’d won the damn lottery.  I sighed before walking around the side of the couch to plug in my blanket, and with a little effort dropped my jeans as well.  I guess we would be under blankets, so Aunt Mito wouldn’t see anything.

 

“I’m taller, so big spoon,” I finally said, and we cuddled up easily on the joined couches together.  I fell asleep in moments, the comfort of Gon’s warm body held tightly in my arms the best medicine for insomnia I had ever taken.

 

***

 

I awoke to the sound of my own name being whispered in hushed tones.

 

The room was dark, but the moon filtering in from the back window cast enough light into the room for me to see that I was alone on our bed of couches.  Or so I thought.  I was laying on my back, my legs slightly bent up to fit on the less than full couch. I tried to move but realized my limbs were all heavy and tingling as if they all had fallen asleep simultaneously.  I was able to move my neck slightly to the side when I saw the outline of my sister sitting on the back of the couch, facing away from me.

 

“A-Alluka?”  My voice sounded scratchy and faraway in my own ears, and I found myself wondering why my sister was here.  And where was Gon?  Did he get up to use the bathroom or something?  I felt like I was underwater as my name continued to trickle in and out of my range of sound, causing my mind to panic realizing there was something very wrong with this picture.

 

“Alluka?” I tried again, and this time she turned towards me, twisting her body at an odd angle and leaning down.  I saw that face again, that horrible face from my nightmares, featureless and terrifying.  Alarm bells rang in my head, my heart beating wildly as I found it increasingly difficult to breathe.  This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t real!  The form of my sister slowly began crawling towards me on the couches, that dead stare never leaving my face.  I wanted to close my eyes and look away, but I found that I couldn’t.  I was frozen.

 

The air clicked with static electricity around us as a whooshing sound like a vacuum filled my ears.  I noticed that Alluka’s “mouth” was moving, but I couldn’t hear any words coming out.  I wanted to scream for help but I felt like I was choking, my voice was caught in my throat, slowly suffocating me as my senses and mobility all shut down.

 

Alluka had finally crawled close enough to me to place both of her arms on either side of my body, towering over me, looking down into my petrified face.  I felt her hair tickle my cheek as she sat there, looming.  This was how I was going to die.  Flashes of my memories with Gon streaked across my mind, his smiling face, his warm touch, his lips on mine.  I could feel my body begin to sob even though no words would come out, Alluka’s dead, soulless eyes looking down at me, then I noticed a faint red glow begin to illuminate from them.

 

“I’m still watching you, and it’s almost time.”

 

Her mouth was moving, but I heard the words inside of my very own mind.  I gasped for breath, but still no air was filling my lungs, and I felt the edges of my vision go black before falling back into a state of unconsciousness.

 

***

 

“--llua?”

 

“Killua?”

 

A swirling rush of energy hit me like a ton of bricks, and I gasped, taking air into my lungs as if it was my very first breath of life, my eyes jolting open and focusing on brown, worried eyes staring back into mine.

 

Gon’s hand fell from my shoulder as I sat up quickly, looking around the room wildly, illuminated by the tableside lamp at the foot of the couch I was on.

 

I was so sweaty that my sweatshirt was soaked all the way through, my bangs sticking to my forehead uncomfortably as I continued to gasp for air, surprised at how easily it filled my lungs.  I was cold, and wrapped my arms tightly around myself, squeezing over my stomach which was dancing and flipping wildly inside of me, threatening to spill out of my mouth.  I brought a hand to my mouth  and tilted my head back, taking many deep breaths until the feeling subsided slightly, at least enough for me to feel like I wasn’t going to puke all over the couch.

 

“Killua?”

 

Right, I wasn’t alone.  Gon was here.

 

“Are you alright?” His voice was shaking as he brought a shaky hand to my forehead, pushing my wet bangs away from my skin and running his hand from my forehead to my cheek.  He felt like fire, and I wanted to pull away, but this was Gon, right?  Gon was my safety and my security, and I must be okay if he was here now.

 

“You’re freezing,” he stated, quickly grabbing the blanket draped over his waist and cocooning it around me, rubbing my shoulders with his hands and looking me over.  His face was paler than usual, and he looked upset, almost as if he had seen a ghost.

 

I finally found my voice, and even though I was almost certain I was coming down from a panic attack I was able to speak, “Where were you?”

 

“Where--where was I?  Killua, I never left!”

 

He then gripped me in a bone-shattering hug, looping his chin over my shoulder as he squeezed, I could still feel his body shaking like something was horribly wrong.

 

“I--I woke up because you were having… some kind of fit or something!  Your breathing was really labored and I heard this, this,” he inhaled deeply close to my ear, and I could tell he was terrified, holding back from breaking down.  I finally found the energy to reach up and return his embrace weakly, frightened of what he was going to tell me next.

 

“I heard this voice,” he bit out, breath coming out shaky, and I squeezed my fingertips against his warm, naked back.

 

He sat back, cupping my face in his hands and rubbing the tips of his thumbs against the apples of my cheeks.  We stared at each other, his eyes wide and worried, my own eyes scared and wet.

 

“A voice,” I repeated, barely above a whisper.

 

“Yeah, uh, I don’t know what it was saying it sounded… backwards.  It was real dark in here but I could see something.  Something wasn’t right.”

 

“Something,” I repeated, that cold and slimy feeling coming back over me, and I wrapped my arms around my stomach again.

 

“And, I, I shit you not, Killua, there was… a… a goddamn cat sitting on your chest!”  

 

I looked at him in horror, not expecting that bit of information.

 

“And this cat,” he continued, “looked like it was the source of the voice.  It was this creepy sound, and like I said it almost sounded like when you play a tape backwards.”

 

I stared at him, unable to comprehend what he was telling me.  His story was wildly different than my experience, but in other ways the same.  I didn't want to believe him.  I had wanted to believe everything that was happening to me was all in my own head.  But his experience was validating, and that scared me shitless.

 

“So, anyway, I sat up and I guess the cat noticed I was awake, because it turned and hissed at me, before jumping into the darkness.  I turned on the light as fast as I could but it was just gone, Killua… and… and you weren't breathing and…!”

 

“I wasn't breathing?” I asked, shell-shocked by his words but even more terrified by the tears welling up quickly in his eyes.  I had never seen Gon like this before.  He was the brave one, the strong one.

 

“Yeah, babe, Killua, your lips were turning blue… I was shaking you, your body was freezing… I thought…” and then he totally broke down, a sob caught in his throat as he grabbed me again tightly, rubbing his face into my sweaty shirt and grabbing at the back of my hair.

 

We hugged as Gon cried, and I stared off into the room, a thought blossoming in my mind.  If these things could still happen even when Gon was here, did that mean I was never safe?  Was Gon in danger now, too, because of me?

 

I needed answers, I needed them now, and there was only one place I was going to be able to get them.

 

We sat awake for the rest of the night, holding onto each other under the blankets, neither one of us daring to turn out the tableside lamp until the sun came up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So spooky! Oh no! Now Gon has seen it, too!


	12. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua and Gon spend the day together, but Killua doesn't stay the weekend, he has business with his oldest brother, Illumi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's been too long... like almost 3 months too long :( I'm so sorry! Now that the holidays are over and life is somewhat back to normal I'm hoping to get back on a semi decent schedule. I hope all you lovely people are doing well!

**In x The x Dark**

**Chapter 12 - Bruises**

 

**Gon’s POV**

 

We awoke in a tangle of limbs, Killua’s body held so closely to mine that I almost had forgotten just exactly what had transpired the night before.  The images came rushing back to me in frightening waves once I had gained my bearings, and Killua didn’t look much better.  Even the smell of breakfast cooking from the other end of the house couldn’t raise our spirits, and we spent a few moments after waking just silently cuddling against each other.

 

The feel of Killua’s eyelashes against my chest as he blinked slowly made my heart beat fast, but I knew we couldn’t just sit on the couch all day, and I was feeling a bit hungry.

 

“How are you feeling?” I asked quietly, giving Killua a tiny squeeze all wrapped up in my arms, and gently kissing the top of his head.  I could feel him shrug in my grasp.

 

“Dunno, okay, I guess,” he mumbled, chewing nervously as his thumbnail, and I gently swiped his hand away, bringing it to my own lips and kissing all over.

 

“You shouldn’t do that, then your hands will look like mine,” I demonstrated, holding out my hands splaying in front of him, displaying the nubby, bitten up nails.

 

“Sick, dude,” he laughed, pushing me away.

 

Killua made his way to the guest bathroom, a balled up t-shirt held tightly in his hands and his jeans he had scouted off of the floor from the night before.  I could just barely see a strip off his skin peeking out from where his sweatshirt had ridden up, and I flushed as I followed behind him.  A very noticeable bruise in the shape of my hand marred his hip, and I debated pointing it out to him until the door was shut tightly behind us.

 

“Killua, take your shirt off.”

 

“What?!  Gon, no, we just woke up!” he argued, looking scandalized at misreading my intentions.

 

“No, not that, Killua, I think I hurt you,” I said somberly, pulling at the hem of his shirt.  He shot me a strange look before complying, pulling the shirt up and over his head.

 

We both stared at his body in the mirror in front of us, horror painting my face and shock on his.

 

Both of his hip bones we darkly bruised in the shape of my large hands, and from his chest up to his neck were littered in lovebites and hickeys, so dark against his almost colorless skin that I had to gasp.

 

“You idiot!” he hissed, bopping me on the head, “How am I supposed to hide that?!”

 

“Hm, I don’t know, I think they’re kind of charming,” I decided.

 

I began tracing circles around each mark, and he just stood there, his face growing darker and darker by the minute, until I finally left him alone, leaving goosebumps all over his skin.

 

We dressed quickly, the promise of homemade breakfast food plaguing our hungry teenage minds.

 

***

 

As we sat down at the breakfast table Aunt Mito was humming away in the kitchen, and I tried not to laugh as Killua desperately tried to bury himself alive in his shirt, but nothing he did seemed to completely cover the bruises on his neck, I had really done a number on him.

 

Aunt Mito was all smiles, walking over to us with heaping plates of bacon, eggs, and chocolate chip pancakes.  She always made those when Killua was over, knowing they were his favorite.

 

“Good morning, my darlings, so good to see you again, Killu-ahh!” she shrieked covering her mouth, and if Killua could have mastered spontaneous human combustion I believe he would have practiced it immediately.  

 

“Oh, oh Killua,” she tried to hide her growing grin behind her hand, a slight waver in her voice from a not very well-masked giggle.  “Oh, it’s not so bad, dear, it’s, well…”

 

“I _hate_ you!” Killua whispered loudly in my general direction, and I had to hold back my own laughter as Aunt Mito excused herself to go get some coffee, but I heard her mumble, “at least they can’t get pregnant…” before she had completely disappeared.

 

I sent Killua a sheepish grin, and he kicked me hard under the table.

 

We ate quietly, and I worried Killua was actually mad at me until he finally spoke, gently, in a way I wasn’t used to hearing him speak, and that worried me to the core.

 

“I wanna spend today with you, but I’m not going to stay the weekend, I’m gonna go home tonight.”  He swirled the last few bits of his breakfast around his plate, and I had noticed he didn’t eat nearly as much as he normally does, but I decided not to comment.

 

“That would be alright,” I agreed, “But why?  Did I do something wrong?”

 

His eyes looked frightened as he turned to me, shaking his head.

 

“No, you, you didn’t do anything.  I just want to get to the bottom of… all this.  I’m scared, Gon.  Really, really scared.”  His fork clanked loudly onto his plate as his trembling hands dropped it.  I wasted not even a second before reaching out to grab them, my warm hands enveloping his like dark waves burying sand.  This was the most straightforward he had been with me in ages, and I wasn’t about to let him suffer alone.

 

“Don’t worry, Killua, we’ll get through this together,” I promised, and I meant it.

 

We spent the rest of the day watching cartoons and eating ice cream, and I sincerely didn’t want to take Killua home that night.

 

***

 

**Killua’s POV**

 

I kissed Gon good-bye at the front gate, regret weighing heavy in my stomach as it turned in knots.

 

Luckily it was cold enough that the scarf Aunt Mito had let me borrow didn’t seem out of place.  I just needed it long enough to make my way upstairs and raid my closet for turtlenecks.  Fortunately I look damn good in them.

 

It was only a bit after 7, but the mansion seemed quiet, and I took the stairs two at a time, silently as possible up to my bedroom, flinging my backpack on the bed and quickly changing into clean clothes.

 

I walked downstairs, making my way from room to empty room, until I finally ran into Canary, looking rather casual in the sitting room, a paperback book held against her chest.  I snuck in silently, creeping behind the furniture until I was directly behind her before shouting, “BOO!”

 

I held my stomach laughing as she startled, her book falling to the floor with a thump!

 

“Asshole!” she hissed with no bite as she picked the book up and chucked it at me.  I dodged without any effort, only laughing harder.

 

“You look comfy,” I observed, sidling up to her on the loveseat until our thighs touched, and she smacked me in the back of the head.

 

“I apologize, Master Killua, but you’re one saucy little boy, scaring a lady of all things…!”

 

“HA!  Is that what you’re calling yourself these days?  And I told you, drop the “master” thing, it’s weird.  What are you reading’ there?  Something naughty?”

 

I tried to wrestle the book away from her, and she smacked me, again, this time connecting right in the side of my head.  I fell back laughing as she huffed.

 

“Where’s my family anyway?” I asked, putting some distance between us and laying my head back on my hands, fingers threaded behind my head.

 

“I think they went to some kind of show, even Gotoh is with them, no one expected you to be home for the weekend, I’m sure.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” I agreed, closing my eyes and listening to the fireplace crackle in front of us.

 

“Why are you home, did something happen?  Don’t tell me that handsome boy of yours is already in the doghouse?”  Her brown eyes were wide and ready to receive gossip as I peeped one eye open to look at her, imagining Gon down on his hands and knees like a dog wasn’t helping anything either.  I shook my head.

 

“Uh, no, things are fine.  I wanted to speak to Illumi, actually.”

 

“Oh!  Master Illumi is here.  He's up in his room working on something.  You know how he is, all work and no play that one,” Canary informed me, shaking her head in apparent disbelief.  I nodded to agree, already a nervous sweat settling over my body thinking about questioning my oldest brother.

 

“Hm, so things are good with you and Boy-toy.  That's excellent news, so where are my details?  Spill, Killua, I am dying to hear it.”

 

I jumped up from the loveseat, smoothing out my outfit and making my way out of the room.  “Maybe next time, Canary,” I laughed.  Just as I was about to cross over threshold into the next room she shouted at me.

 

“At least answer me this, Mr. Zoldyck, is the boy a legend?”

 

“He's HUGE!” I laughed, finally sprinting out of the room as my cheeks filled with color, and I could hear her quietly say, “I knew it!”

 

***

 

The short trip up to Illumi’s bedroom took much longer than it should have, but I was taking my time, wasting every second I possibly could as I padded quietly down the series of ornate rugs, my socks cushioning every step.

  


By the time I reached Illumi’s door I stood outside it, taking a deep breath, and as I raised my hand to knock a quiet voice from inside was already telling me to “come in”.  I hated how he always knew when I was around, like eyes in the back of his head, following my every step.

 

Illumi’s bedroom was dark, and devoid of any life or personality, much like it’s owner.  The only personal touches in the entire room at all were two family photos sitting on his desk, one of the entire family, and another that creeped me out to my core, a photo of Illumi holding me when I was about 2 years old and he was 14, the look on his face dead and unsettling.

 

“What can I help you with, Kil?”  Illumi’s voice slithered across the room to me, clear and to the point.  He didn’t even bother looking up from the pieces of paper he was furiously scribbling on in front of him, and my skin prickled at the unwanted nickname.

 

I took a seat on the edge of his pristine bed, and he finally looked up, barely quirking a brow at my position.  He probably didn’t expect me to make myself comfortable.  Not like I wanted to, but I’d rather be sitting down to have this awkward conversation.

 

“Illumi.”  The pitch of my own voice startled me, I sounded confident, yet grave, and it caught my brother’s attention.  He laid down his pen, threading his long fingers under his chin with interest, leveling me with an intense look that begged me to continue.

 

“Yes, Killua?  Why, if I were to say so myself you act as if you’ve seen a ghost, what, with that terrible look on your face?”  He leaned in further, and the several feet between us suddenly felt like mere centimeters.

 

“I have.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I have been seeing things, Illumi.  That’s why I need your help.”

 

“Hm, I can’t imagine why you would think I could help with a thing like that,” he gave a small chuckle, sorting through a few stacks of paper on his desk, tidying them into perfect piles in front of him.  I fidgeted with the fraying hole on the knee of my jeans, trying to force bravery into my veins.

 

“A-alluka.”

 

“What about her?”

 

The room suddenly felt cold, and I braced myself for the whispering to start, but the room was silent save for my own breathing, too loud in my ears.  Illumi was staring at me curiously, his black eyes roving up and down, left and right, scanning me in a methodical, mechanic sort of way that made my blood feel icy.

 

“I just thought… maybe you could fill me in on what really happened all those years ago… and that maybe it would help me, too.”

 

Illumi stood up, and I resisted the urge to flinch as he drew closer to me, an overly concerned look on his face, until he finally stopped about a foot in front of me, kneeling until we were at eye level.  His long black hair almost tickled my knee, and I reminded myself not to jerk away.

 

Swiftly, those long slender fingers reached out and grabbed my chin, gently, but the action itself made me want to scream and run away.  I knew my brother wouldn’t hurt me, but the atmosphere was beginning to suffocate me, and he seemed completely unaffected by the uncomfortable aura that was surrounding us.

 

He gently moved my head left and right, eyes roaming all over my face as I trembled, a thin layer of sweat coating my forehead.  He then dusted the back of his hands against my cheeks, and his hands were cold, and a shiver ran through me.

 

“Killua, are you ill?” he finally spoke, sitting back on the balls of his feet, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief when his hands were not longer on me.

 

“No,” I responded quickly, burying my shaky hands in my lap.

 

“You're perspiring, and asking very peculiar questions, little brother, has me worried.”  His hand brushed against my knee and I bit my lip, shaking my head quickly.  “And these are new, interesting, since you’re underage,” Illumi said quietly to himself as he stared at my ears, two black stones set in silver glittering back at him.

 

“Illumi, please, I need to know the truth,” I bit out, pushing myself backwards on the bed, and away from his roaming gaze and hands.

 

“Oh, but Killua, this is the truth,” he said, steadily standing once again, unaffected by my need to distance myself from him.  “Nothing happened to our dear, sweet sister.  You’re head’s just full of nonsense.”

 

“It’s not!” I insisted with a burst of bravery, and my oldest brother looked surprised, before shrugging his long hair back over his shoulder and quickly fixing his face back into its normal, emotionless median.

 

“No, this won't do.  I can't have my darling little brother poking around in the occult.  what would people say?”  He held his right hand to his chin inquisitively, his left arm supporting it at the elbow.  I felt angry as he made a mocking display of my concerns, his dark eyes focused on the ceiling, as if deep in thought.

 

“Nevermind…” I said quietly, tired of his games, and hoisted myself up from the bed.  “I guess I’ll just have to find someone who will talk.”  My threat wasn't empty, and I think my brother knew it, as he called out to me as my hand brushed the door handle.

 

“Be careful where you play, Kil.  Not everyone you meet is a sweet, country hick with a heart of gold and an icebox full of cheap fun.”

 

The door clicked behind me, but his words ricocheted off of the walls of my mind.  He was hiding the truth from me, and I think I knew of the only other person who could provide me with the facts.  But how could I find him?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have wonderful mornings, days, and nights! Wherever you may be!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all of my friends who have encouraged me, and helped read over this for me! (Even though I kept some of those "ugly sentences"! lol)  
> I wouldn't be posting without all of you!
> 
> I hope that someone out there enjoys this! I've been dying to write some paranormal for the fandom :)  
> I will add more tags and characters as they arrive! I hope all of you are having a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening!!!


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